JESS'S JOURNEY--- CH 12
I entered Bishop’s house and was annoyed with Kris’s story of his point. But after
few minutes of deep thought in the car, I believe he had made some points. As I
walked in, Shawn makes a stupid remark: “Dudes pissed ‘cause Jess got their asses
“No, it’s not that at all,” Kris said, heading to fridge.
“He and Brad got into a little tiff…” Scott stated. That was a little understated.
I addressed the group.
“He deserted me after his brother died. I had no idea what was going on,” I said in
my defence. “I was clueless until I came here.”
Kris returned, “Bro, I don’t know how many fucking times I have to say I’m sorry.
It was the worst time of my life when Nathan was killed. I didn’t know what to do…”
I wanted to scream at him, but I knew where he was coming from, so I said, “You
could have turned to me and given me an explanation.”
Matt added his two cents worth, and they made the point that I could have easily
called him, but my own feelings about the situations prevented me from doing so.
Eventually Kris spoke again.
“Please forgive me. I meant no harm to you. Seeing you did bring out painful
memories though, as it reminded me of the great time we enjoyed.”
Kris was right, the stories he told the night before were interesting and funny,
and we had some great moments in those three years. I looked toward Jess who added,
“Brad, I know Kris and I don’t think it was intentional.”
I regarded at everybody and realized that the situation was complicated, and we
were both to blame for what occurred. After shaking hands and Kris sincerely saying
we are going to have the best time ever. I put away the past and focused on the
future. We had an enjoyable meal at this TexMex restaurant, and while some people
went shopping, Jess and I went back to house to relax.
“I am proud of you for letting the situation die and moving on,” Jess said to me.
Jess had been my rock; he had made some hard choices, and had to live with grave
consequences. He is the hottest guy I have ever known, and I know that I will be
friends with him forever. He doesn’t even know that I’ve applied to join his
college next September, too.
“Yeah, you guys were right, I was equally to blame for the issue. I just cannot
believe after so many years I would be faced with him again.”
“Life works in mysterious ways. When I was in high school, I had a friend just like
Kris, he steered me away from the deadly path of gangs, and I understood what a
friend really is. Then, he disappeared. I looked for him for an entire summer, but
there was no trace of him. I doubt I will ever see him again.”
“Hey, if Kris and I were meant to meet again, I am sure you and he will see each
other soon, too.”
We talked about the Bishop’s house and how nice it was, we were joined eventually
by the rest of the household, and started shooting the breeze. I couldn’t help
looking at Scott and Jordy; I needed to know what their story is. When Jordy went
to grab some beer I went helped him. We signed fast, and I realized that Scott and
Jordy are just fuck buddies. He mentioned that he even said ‘no’ to Kris when he
asked to date him. I asked if there was anybody here he would love to get to know.
He smiled and turned away.
We brought back fresh beer for everybody as the rest people from the shopping trip
returned. Everybody was having a great time, I loved Kris’s stories, and Matt event
told a few. Kris was looking hot and I just knew I wanted him at that moment. There
was a feeling, just true animal lust for his body. Deep down these feelings were
always there. As the night was winding down people were heading to bed.
“Should we head in, too?” Jess asked Kris and me, who were the only ones still out.
Kris looked at me. “I’m good out here for a little while. You two can go up if you
want to, though.”
“No, it’s cool, we’ll hang out here a bit longer,” I said.
“Great,” Kris said, absentmindedly reaching down to scratch his abs, a move that
didn’t go unnoticed by Jess and me, who took the opportunity to admire the hot body
before us. “We are totally cool now, right Brad?”
“For about the tenth time, yes,” I sighed. “Things got heated earlier, but we’ve
sorted it all out now. I can’t really blame you for what happened and I see that
you’re a different person now, so let’s just forget it, yeah?”
“Cool. I just can’t help feeling guilty. I wish there was something I could do to
make it up to you.”
“You already have, but if you really wanna make it up to me…” I smirked.
The next day at the nude beach was so much fun, I was loving that Kris and Brad
were spending more time together and enjoying their catch up session. I, on the
other hand, was watching Scott and Jordy the whole time; they seem to be doing so
well together. I looked down at my body, Scott would never want it. Kris mentioned
I should wear them as badge of honor, but I was still slightly subconscious about
them. Dr. Green mentioned most of them would fade in time.
After we left and had a great barbeque, Scott had the idea to light up while we
were waiting for the guys to return from their nightly run. Nothing much happened,
but Scott admitted that he thought I was the hottest guy ever. I let the remark
slide, and the guys returned from their exercise. We all chatted about nothing in
particular; until Kris shouted that he wanted someone to shave him down below.
Matt was instantly embarrassed, and told him to do it himself. My mind went back to
the first semester when Scott and I shaved Colt as an evil prank. It was so much
fun that Scott jumped on the chance to do Kris and Colt again tonight, especially,
after we revealed that we did it back then.
Sometime during the night, while we were watching TV, Kris asked the group, “So who
hasn’t jacked off since we started this trip?”
Matt yelled at him, “Come on, Kris!” I couldn’t help laugh at Kris’ not so subtle
comment for some action. Matt knew exactly what Kris had in mind and told him so.
After most of the guys told him how they felt about gay action. I tried to be
slightly gentler by saying. “Kris, last year was different, I didn’t have to do
much talking to get you and Colt to go for it. The shock was Bryson joining in.”
As people started talking about tomorrow, the phone rang. I went to the other room
for the privacy, “Jess, I need you to come back. I have the job that needs to
happen tomorrow, but I fucked up my back. Darren had to take me to emergency room.”
“I’m sorry about your back. Does this job need to happen? I am kind of having a lot
of fun. I don’t know when I will see my friends again.”
“Yeah, I am sorry, Jess. I will see you tomorrow. I will pay double to make up for
“It’s cool Joe. I will come back right away. Please do get better. ”
I was fucking pissed and told the room “Asshole wants me back. It seems my uncle
fucked his back today.”
“So are we leaving now?” Brad asked me. I knew he was just becoming friends with
Kris all over again.
I slumped my shoulders, “Well, I think we should. Fuck!” I swore at the phone.
Kris piped up.
“Bro, at least you were able to come for a few days.” That’s why I love Kris; he
can always cheer people up.
“Oh, thanks for putting a positive spin on it,” I said. “Next time see if I open my
mouth and say if he needs me holler.” My mind went racing back to beginning of the
camping trip and calling my uncle and telling him, I’d come back. It sucks Joe had
fucked up his back again. It couldn’t have happened at worse time.
“I hate it too, but things happen.” Brad said.
“We better go and get our stuff,” I stated. “Guys, it was epic as always.”
Brad and I headed to back to pack and I hated it.
“I am sorry, Brad?”
“Don’t be, family is important. Besides, I had a blast with Kris again; the time at
the beach was talked like old times. Plus that threesome we had was pretty cool
“Yeah, but you and Kris were finally getting back together.”
“I told him I would visit him at school. So it will be okay.”
“Aw fuck…” I said with my phone ringing again. I answered it and assumed it was my
“Jesus, Uncle…I am coming back now.” I said.
Derek and Fred were sitting at the table and looking at me as the phone continued
to ring. I didn’t know what was going to happen or what I was going to say.
It finally answered, and heard and angry voice say. “Jesus, Uncle…I am coming back
“Jess? Is that you,” I replied, making sure that was my former friend.
“Yeah, who is this?”
“It’s Trent Moore.” There was a long silence. “Jess? Are you still there?”
“OH MY GOD! It’s you.”
“I don’t know what to say, it’s been so long.”
“Yes, it has, what happened? How are you? Where have you been?”
“I had amnesia. I am fine and I have been living with a good friend who took me
Jess was speechless for a few minutes.
“Sorry, I am just so shocked to finally talk to you again.”
“How about I come to your hometown?” I suggested. I knew I had to see him again.
“Of course, I will be tomorrow. I am so happy that you are alright and everything
is good. I was worried about you for a long time.”
I really don’t know what else I could say. “I guess I will see you tomorrow. Bye.”
He said goodbye, and we were both a little speechless about the conversation, I
could tell Jess was. I gave the phone back to Derek. He smiled that he was able to
help me locate his friend. We made a hasty goodbye to him, and left to go meet
“Thank you…” Derek said.
“For what?” I wasn’t sure what we did; he was the one who helped us locate my
“You helped me out there with everything you said I am going back home to be with
Samuel and show him how much I love him.”
We shook hands and both went our separate ways. Fred mentioned that we were only a
few hours away, and called Jess and said we would meet him after his job the next
I kept smiling the entire time. I really hope Jess can fill in the hole in my life
and school, and all the friends I had; Mom and Dad did a great job, but they
mentioned that I was always secretive about my social situation. Fred was on his
phone calling his mother and telling her about the recent updates, while I drove to
Jess Frampton’s hometown to put the final pieces of the puzzle together. My secret
hope is seeing him, will help me piece together my memory. From what Mom and Dad
told me Jess and I were inseparable, and they thought finding him would help a lot.
I have been feeling guilty; for everything I did. My mom and dad were furious that
I would turn on my only brother, that I would hurt my best friend like I did with
Jess. Now, with Lee behind bars, my life was still a mess. Dirk, Quinn and Vin were
also put away, but that meant I was alone. Jess kept to his word the day he left on
his trip; he called me and told me that when I returned, we would try to be friends
again. He emphasized the word ’try’.
Now two days later, I am sitting outside the jail wondering if I should see my
brother or not. We had been close all my life. Despite the evil things he had
orchestrated and the questionable friends he made, I still love him. I don’t regret
turning on him, but it still hurts me inside. I made the choice to go in and see
Eventually Lee came out to the visiting area, he looked horrible, like he was
beaten up, and hasn’t slept in days.
“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?” he asked me.
“I wanted to see how you are doing?”
“Now you care about me. Fuck off, okay?”
“I needed to tell you something, I needed to tell you why I did what I did.”
“I know why? You got soft. You didn’t like what I was doing to your friend Jess,”
“NO! Because I am gay…I realized it the night you made me fuck him. I care for
Jess, and it hurt that I had to do that stuff, but I didn’t realize why until
“MY OWN BROTHER IS A FAG. GET OUT!! YOU DUMB FUCK. IF I SEE YOU HERE AGAIN I WILL
I knew this was the reaction I would get. “Yes. I am a FAG. Okay! Is that a crime?”
“YES! YOU FAGGOT LOVER.”
“What is the problem anyways? Why do you hate gay people? What did they ever do to
“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE! I am not going to associated with any fag.”
“We are still brothers.”
“I thought you said a few nights ago that you had no brothers when you sick friends
tied me up.”
“I was wrong. I want to get you help.”
“You got me arrested, and you shamed me by admitting to me you are diseased. Listen
to me one last time. I hate you Preston. I hate everything about you. You are the
worst human being on the planet. People stand up for their family. I stood up for
you plenty of times. When kids at school bullied at you; I took the heat when you
came home drunk and high. You being gay is the worst thing you could tell me.”
“I needed to tell you that. We have never kept anything from each other before.
Besides you lied to me about what you planned for Jess. You knew I would have
stopped you if I knew.”
“The point is I was there for you. You turned on me, and ganged up on me. Your own
brother.” Lee spat in my face.
“NO LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!”
I arrived back home late into the evening, and Brad quickly gave me a kiss on the
cheek and went to bed; he spent most of the trip thanking me. He told me that Kris
and he will become great friends in the future again.
Then we spent the rest of the trip talking about Trent, Brad seemed interested in
my story, how we became friends in high school, and how I haven’t seen him in
years. Brad kept mentioning how the situation was similar to his and Kris’, I
nodded in agreement. Now, I was sitting in living room thinking about my meeting
with Trent. After some time of quiet reflection, I received a late call. I was
surprised because it was in the wee hours of the morning and from my uncle.
“Jess, I wanted to apologize that I ruined your time with your friends,” he began.
“It’s alright; it turned out that I needed to come anyway. And I did mention that I
would come if you needed me. What’s the job, when do you need me?”
“That’s the thing, the job was cancelled. Randy said he would rather hold on
repairs until I was back on my feet. He trusts my handiwork. He talked to his wife
and they agreed.”
“That sucks…How is your back holding up anyways?”
“It is fine now. Darren took me to the hospital, and the doctor gave me some meds
to help with pain. It’s annoying really, because now I can’t sleep; hence, this
“Yeah, I cannot sleep either, my friend called me up earlier out of the blue, and
he wanted to meet up, and I worried because, I don’t know what to think anymore. I
haven’t seen Trent in years.”
There was silence, and Joe was probably thinking of some pleasant advice to give to
me. He knew all about Trent and his situation. “I am sure you’ll do fine, Jess. I
have always been proud of you and your choices of late.”
We talked for another hour and he bucked me up for the reunion the next day. At
times like these I am happy to have an uncle whom I can talk to. It was early the
next day, when Brad came in to give me a morning blow job.
It was approaching noon, and I was still slightly worried on how Trent would look
and how he would be. However, the prospect of seeing my best friend again after so
many years definitely put a smile on my face.
At 12:30 a knock on the door was heard, and it shocked me more, because we said to
meet around 3 o’clock. I opened and there he was; Trent Moore. Neither of us spoke,
we just looked at each other smiling, before a voice yelled from the street, “Hug
That is exactly what we did; it lasted for a minute, or a day, or more than a day.
I don’t know. After we broke apart, I was introduced to Fred. Brad came to the door
and to give Fred a tour of the house or to play video games, while I suggested that
Trent and I go for a walk.
The few steps around the block were silent ones, I think we both had lots of
questions on our mind, but neither one was ready to voice them.
“So…” I began, “How have you been?”
“Honestly, things couldn’t have been better; Fred and his mother had taken me in,
and treated me as her own son. Fred and I became instant brothers. It took some
getting used to, but eventually I found a happy place with them. And you?”
“The same, I had few scraps here and there, some key adventures, but I made it out
alright. There is nothing to complain about either. So tell me the story, how did
you find me?”
He told how Fred encouraged him to locate his high school, how an elderly woman
told him of me, and how that lead to his parents, and then he went to my former
college, and was about come back to my home town to find me, only to encounter a
mutual friend who had my number.
“Oh my god, Derek really does meet everybody,” I said to him and he nodded. “Do
you remember anything about me? Any of our antics?”
“Not really, the earliest memory I have is waking on the street, and walking around
aimlessly, eventually I discovered my name. I was hoping you could tell me about
our past. It was one of the key reasons I came to find you.”
“Well, Trent,” I said as we sat on nearby bench. “Our friendship began the second
year in high school, I was struggling with Math and English, and you decided to
help me one afternoon in the library. After going through some tough math problems,
you never gave up on me. We decided to make it a weekly thing, then we starting
walking to school and home together. You introduced me to your parents, and you met
my uncle. You thought he was gay before he even opened his mouth.”
“I did?” he asked. We decided to head over to the small pizza place on the corner
and I continued to explain the circumstance around our friendship’s beginning.
“The second year we hung out a lot, you even cheered me on every football game I
played. We even set you up with a few of the cheerleaders, and you had this smirk
on your face that told me you had a nice fuck. Around the Christmas holiday,
things started to drift between us. I wasn’t making the best decisions and was
hanging out with the wrong crowd. I experienced marijuana, cocaine and heavy
alcohol. You did your best to hide it from my folks and stuff.
“One night, at the end of the school year, months of covering my ass, and trying to
get me away from these guys. We had a horrible fight. I said the worse things
possible to you. You told me to fuck off and you never talked to me again for the
entire summer. Our third year, we spoke a few times, but by then our friendship was
gone. Nothing could save it now. What I didn’t know until much later, during that
third year, you started to make friends, and had great fun, but more importantly,
you still tried to help me; without getting me into trouble.
“Did it work?” Trent was listening with rapt attention; I could tell this was all
news to him, which was sad that one of my best friends doesn’t remember his high
school experience, let alone our friendship.
I continued, “Not really, at the end of the school year, the gang I was in had
started planning major vandalism in the school, including destroying the statue on
the main square. I was caught in the act and was suspended. That summer, I worked
doing some odd jobs for my uncle, while you were planning this intervention for me.
“So the start of our fourth year, you and some of your friends took me aside and
nearly forced me to some location.
“You had gathered my old friends. You didn’t inform any of my family except my
uncle and sister. You began by saying I needed to stop this before it gets any
worse. It turned out that you knew about the bank robbery that the gang was going
“Then I showed you what would happen if you were caught. I had your uncle speak
about the boy you were, and I had your sister talk about the future. You fought us
for a long time, and when I showed you the evidence that I dug about how the main
guys were going to frame you, that did it,” Trent spoke.
I was surprised by this. “I thought your memory was gone.”
He smiled, happy to for memories to start to return, “I guess it was blocked, and I
needed some key moments to unlock it. I remember most of it. If I recall you
thought that Moose and Rocco were your friends, or family and they wouldn’t hang
you out to dry.”
“Yeah, and it was your idea to have me call the cops on them, and get their asses
arrested, but I was too late, because they killed two of the security guards.”
“I remember how you thought it was all your fault, and after quick conversations on
my part,” Trent began, “we got you away from those horrible men. And our friendship
was back again. I cannot believe I got my memory back.”
“I guess, it’s like in the movies, where you see things from your past and it
memory comes back to you.” I smiled at him. He decided to make a quick call to
By the time he finished the call, the conversation became like old times; we shared
some laughs and happy memories from our fourth year. As the conversation continued,
Trent remembered more and more about I couldn’t be happier.”
“So, why are you back here, and not in college? I know you withdrew.” He told me
about his brief conversation with Rick.
“Basically, I was going back to my old ways. Without you there, I was enjoying the
party life a little too much, and my grades suffered. I had a fight with Scott, a
friend I cared a lot about. Now, realizing my mistake, I have made it my mission to
“I am sorry, Jess.” Trent whispered.
“There is no reason to be. I made mistakes.”
“I just wish I were there for you; to help you get back on your path again. I have
that happen of doing that.”
“You were. The night I went home, I came up with a plan. And every day I felt bad
for the predicament I was in. I thought back to your kind words, your motivational
comments, and it got me through it. Sure, I have great friends from college who
helped me when they could. Your advice was also there.”
Trent stood and we hugged. “Too bad we couldn’t go to college together, like we
said we would.”
“Yeah, but I believe we still can, though.” I told him there was still time for
him to register for the following year with me. He thought about it. After some
more catching up, Brad and Fred joined us for some ice cream before they headed
back to Fred’s house. I told Trent to call me every day.
“Don’t worry, Jess I found you once; come September you won’t be able to get rid of
With that Brad and I waved goodbye, and Brad kissed me on cheek. “What was that
“I like seeing you happy.” Brad replied and slowly made his way upstairs.
What surprised me more, the next day was that Trent was ringing my doorbell. It
turns out, after some discussion, Trent decided to stay around and have some good
old fashioned fun with me and my friends. Knowing I had to deal with some smaller
jobs with Joe out of commission, we used the day to get reconnected, with Trent
helping me out. That night at dinner, Trent and I ate with my Uncle Joe and Darren;
they quizzed him about his journey to find me and his back-story. Joe even
entertained us with great stories of us doing really stupid stuff in high school.
Joe and Darren offered to put Trent up for the night.
Going home I realized how much I had missed Trent. I snuggled up with Brad and we
slept soundly. I also realized that night; Brad was just a friend and nothing more;
kind of like Matt and Kris. I think I know where my heart lies.
The next day, Trent met all my friends from school who had mentioned how bad their
spring break was. We ended up spending most of the day chilling with a few beers.
Clinton and Trent seemed to talk a lot and later in the evening, Clinton offered to
take Trent back home.
Trent smiled and an hour later, he was at the front door looking sad.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I don’t really want to leave.”
We hugged and I whispered to him, “Trent, you will never leave, you will always be
in my heart.”
With that, Clinton took Trent back home, and I waved goodbye. Hank and Alastair
departed soon after, making plans with Brad the next day. I was smiling when Brad
kissed me on the cheek.
“I am glad you are happy, man. You deserve it,” he said to me, and in return, I
made him very happy that night.
The weekend began. I still hated that I wasn’t up at Bishop’s for the rest of the
break. Scott called me and mentioned that that most of the guys actually went home
on Friday, including him, to spend some time alone. Kris, Myles and Bishop remained
for the duration of the week.
Brad had gone to spend some time with Clinton and Hank. I was going to join them,
but Joe asked me to visit him. So, I ventured over to his place around 10 in the
morning. The moment I entered his place, I cussed him out for making me come so
Joe looked happy, and didn’t even pay attention to my comments. I asked the
“What the fuck is up with you today?”
“My back is better, and I’m ready to ask the question.”
“What question?” I had no idea what he was talking about.
“Darren is the guy of my dream.”
“Isn’t it a little sudden? You have only known him not even a year.”
“That’s the thing. I want your advice, Jess.”
I went to grab a pop from the fridge. “Not much I can say. I have never been an
expert on romance. I had more relationships this last year and half than I ever
“I really think it’s the right thing to do. But you mention the timing and I am
sure Darren might agree.”
“Have you guys talked about it?” I asked.
“Not really. I haven’t mentioned it to your mom either, for that matter.”
“I suggest two things. One: look into your heart and decide; two: wait until you
are sure you are ready. Don’t do what I did.”
“You are talking about Scott.” I looked at him. “Don’t give me that look; for one
when you lived here you yelled out his name a few times in your sleep, and your
sister mentioned it me a few times; and the fact that he hadn’t left your bedside
while you were in the hospital.”
“I don’t know how I feel about Scott. That is the honest truth. Sometimes I believe
I love him, sometimes I think I lust for him, other times I think he is my best
friend. When I saw him with Jordy I had mixed feelings. Kept going back to
Christmas when he whispered that he loved me.”
“Hold on. But then, what mistake are you referring to? You just said before, you
made a mistake.”
“I should have talked on the trip and told him how I feel, even if I don’t know how
I feel about it.”
“What’s stopping you?” Joe asked.
“What If he says no? I would like to start a relationship with him. However, he had
issues with being in relationships before. They had all been fun and games to him,
or just fuck buddies.”
“You will never know unless you ask.” Joe began. “For all you know, he could be
waiting for you to come along and sweep him off his feet. “
He was right. I need to ask him and I need to ask him right now. I left Joe with a
quick goodbye, and told him to call me if he reached a decision on Darren. I told
Brad about my quick trip, and told him to have fun with the guys. I was driving
For some reason, I was getting déjà vu all over again. Throughout the entire drive,
I thought about last summer and how I showed up out of the blue twice to be with
Scott. The first to crash their party, and the second to feel his warm body again;
this time was not about sex or anything like that. I needed to talk to him about
our relationship and we needed to talk now. It was close to three o’clock when I
pulled into Scott’s neighborhood. I couldn’t get out of the car. I was nervous.
My phone rang. It was unexpected and it was Rick, who had a lot of information to
tell me, and I listened to the great news. After we hung up, I had motivation to
knock on Scott’s door. Before I could get to the door though, it opened up and
Scott stepped out, walking around the side of the house to put some garbage out. As
he turned around he spotted me.
I can’t really explain what happened next but I couldn’t find the words to express
what I wanted to say to Scott so I just walked forward and pushed him back against
the side of the house, pressing my lips to his. He didn’t fight the kiss in the
slightest and was soon kissing back with his hands travelling all over my back and
Scott broke the kiss, “Not here, people might see. Come around back.”
I let Scott take my hand and lead me into his back yard. I didn’t even say a word
the whole time and as soon as we were through his gate and hidden by his fence our
lips were back on each other and we were making out with so much passion I almost