Posted:   September 12, 2011

After our fight, I did my best to make amends with Corey.  His stubbornness showed forth and he refused to talk to me or go with us to eat on campus.  Returning, he was locked in his room but did make one appearance.  He talked to Kris and Colt like I wasn’t even there.

Wednesday, our usual shower time, he waited until I finished before using the shower.  I attempted again to talk with him but he stonewalled me.  Now, I was beginning to wonder if there wasn’t more to this than met the eye. 

Entering my first class, Toni smiled and said hello before I took a seat next to her.  “Matt, is there something wrong with you?” she asked after I took a seat.

“Is it that obvious?”

“Your big smile was missing this morning.  Don’t tell me you and Corey are having trouble.”

“Alright, I won’t then.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?  You do know I have had boyfriends so I might be to relate to you,” she said.

“My best guess is he thinks I control his life.”

“Do ya?”

“I don’t think I do.  It started with me asking when he planned to study,” I said.  The instructor entered the room.

She leaned over, “I was wondering if y’all ever did.”

I rolled my eyes with the beginning of class.  It was hard to concentrate on what she was saying after very little sleep the night before.  I doubt I got two hours of sleep while worrying about Corey and me. 

When the class ended, Toni followed me out the door.  “Matt, I hope you are able to work things out.  Keep your head up and get some sleep too. You were nodding off in class.”  She showed me how I was.

“Thanks,” I said and walked in a daze to my next class. 

Bryson spotted me before I entered my next class.  “Hey, what’s this I hear about you and Corey fighting?”

“We are but I’m sure it’s just a small ripple and won’t amount to much.”

“Shawn was worried sick about you last night after he heard.”

“That’s nice of him.”

“I want to thank you for being friends with him.  He’s the best.  If not for him, I’d be crazy by now but it’s getting better.  Garrett isn’t around much since he’s with his new boyfriend.”

“He told you?” I asked.

Bryson smiled, “Yeah, he actually introduced all of us to him last night so I suppose it’s now official.”

“I’m glad someone’s happy.”

Bryson patted me on the shoulder, “Don’t worry Matt.  Corey will come to his senses.”

I dreaded my next class since it was with Corey.  He didn’t sit near me but kept looking over my way the entire time.  When class finished, I grabbed him by the arm.  “Do you wanna talk?”

“I’ll talk when I have something to say to you,” he said sharply.

“Corey, I’m sorry.  I don’t know how many times I have to say it.”

He turned and walked in another direction.   There was nothing I could do but continue on to the dorm.  Being barely ten yards away, I heard my name called and wanted to hide since I knew Jacob’s voice.  Seeing him again at this moment wasn’t what I needed. 

“Matt, how’s it going?” he asked.

“Not too bad,” I replied.

“Hey, you wanna grab some lunch with me and we can relive old times?”

“I ate about an hour ago so I’m not really hungry,” I replied.

“I see how things are with you now.  Here I thought we could at least be friends or something,” he stated.

“Jacob, I promise I will later on but I can’t right this moment.  It would be rather nice being friends,” I said and reached to hug him.

The hug was as sincere as I could muster at this time in my life.  He smiled and walked away.

Continuing on, I entered the dorm and up the stairs. Corey was in right after me and went straight to change for work.  I said goodbye and I love you but all I got was a grunt and a slamming door.

Kris walked in the room with Jacee.  “Tell me you and Corey are better today.”

“Nothing has changed, sadly.  I’m trying.”

Kris shook his head, “That boy!  Has he lost his fucking mind?”

“You’d think.” I said with Colt entering.  He asked the same thing.  It wasn’t long before they were gone their separate ways, taking my advice about not being together all the time.  I suppose each having a girl helped in that matter.

I was trying to occupy my mind when I heard a quiet knock at the door.  Toni was standing there.  “Are things any better?” she asked coming inside.

“Nope, not at all.  I tried my hardest to talk to him but he said he’d talk when he was ready.”

“All you guys are the same,” she commented.  “Hard headed and stubborn as hell.”

“Yes, we are no matter if we’re gay, straight or whatever.”

“Here I thought gay guys were not as stubborn…” she commented.

“Ha, you don’t know many gay guys then.  The ones I’ve been around are just as stubborn.  We have the female attraction part gone but some things remain the same,” I said.

She laughed, “So how long have you and Corey been together?”

“Besides a month break up, one year now,” I replied. “We met at the start of last semester.  For me, it was love at first sight and I thought the same for him.”

“That’s quite a while by anyone’s standards…”

“Especially around this room.  Kris and Colt go through girls like they do… ummm… underwear except Kris is still wearing the same ones he did in high school,” I joked.

“So just a little suggestion started this entire thing?”

“Yes.  I doubt any of them have spent more than fifteen minutes looking over their notes.  I wanted us to get in a habit so we… or I should say they don’t cram like crazy for a test.  Honestly Toni, they aren’t the smartest guys here.  I know all three struggled a little bit last year.  I was only trying to help.”

“Ummm… here I thought my last boyfriend and I fought over petty things.  Are you sure Corey is gay and not straight?  He sure sounds like a lot of straight guys I know,” she joked.

“He’s gay, trust me.”

“He don’t act it but neither do you for that matter,” she commented.

We continued to talk.  I really appreciated how much she seemed to care about me.  It was nice having a girl I could talk with and get a different side of things from. 

That night when Corey arrived, he spoke to the others before holing up in his room.  I wanted to go in there but thought better of it.  Again that night, my sleep was very erratic whereas I thought I’d crash with very little sleep the night before. 

The next day after my classes, I headed straight for the room and knew this had to stop.  I was losing my mind and worrying way too much about it for my own good.  The second Corey came in the door with Colt I stood.

“Corey, please let’s talk,” I said.

“Matt, I said I’d fucking talk when I was good and ready!  Can’t you get it in your thick head, we’re finished!”

“What?” I said in disbelief.

“I said we’re finished as far as I’m concerned,” Corey said.

“Ummm… excuse me but I’ll just leave and let you two talk, alright?” Colt said and left us.

I waited until Colt was in his room. “So just over some stupid petty argument you want to throw a year just out the door, huh?”

“It would do me and you a lot of good if we started seeing other people,” he said. “You can be with Kris all you want.”

“Is that what this is really about?” I asked.

“Ummmm… you did seem to enjoy fucking him,” he said.

“I knew it.  I knew it would come back and bite me squarely in the ass!  For one, you suggested it!”

“Yeah but you wanted to fuck him forever!”

“That may be true and I had several chances but I only did after I thought you were good with it.  You saw how it affected me!”

“Come off of it, Matt!  You know you’d fuck him every night if you could,” he said.

I bit my lower lip and wanted to slap his face more than anything in the world.  I gained my composure and left him standing there.  “Corey, I love you but I don’t guess it goes both ways,” I said before shutting the door.

I was doing okay until Kris came walking in the room.  I lost it and couldn’t speak.  Kris held me close and let me cry on his shoulder.  I told him that Corey said we needed to see other people but left out the part about our encounter.  I knew if I mentioned it Kris would explode.  It was bad enough for Corey and me to fight so I didn’t want Kris involved.

Just as I calmed down my phone was ringing.  It was Dad telling me he’d be about 15 minutes later than normal.  I came really close to telling him I wouldn’t make it but didn’t.  He really wanted me to bring my friends and Corey as well to meet them.  All it took was asking before Kris and Colt were eager to tag along.  Kris was rather anxious to meet my dad since he’d only seen him one time in passing at the game last year.

I drove and asked them to keep quiet about Corey.  It was something I didn’t want him to be involved in.  We waited patiently until Dad appeared in the door with his old girlfriend Gloria.  He gave me a strong hug before greeting Kris and Colt.

“So I take it you two are boyfriends?” Dad said to Kris and Colt.

They laughed.  “Not hardly,” Kris stated.  “Surely you’ve heard Matt talk about me over the years.”

“He has but I assumed all of his friends were like him.  Can’t you two change his mind about being gay?” Dad asked while we waited for a table.

Colt snickered, “We could try but it wouldn’t do any good, sir.”

“Matt, where is that boyfriend of yours?” Dad asked. “Or did you lose him over the summer?”

“Dad, Corey was busy and couldn’t come,” I replied as we were called to our table.

“That’s a shame.  I was looking forward to meeting him,” Gloria said.

“Maybe later,” I said.  We sat and gave our drink orders.  Dad bombarded Colt and Kris with all types of questions about their life and then about me.  I was proud of their answers since they didn’t tell any secrets.  By the time dinner arrived, Dad was on this third beer.  At least the food was better than I remembered in the past with my meal quite good but I guess I was used to our college fare. 

We parted ways after the meal with Dad taking care of the tab. 

“Matt, your dad is a fucking trip,” Kris said.  “Nothing like your mom at all.”

“You noticed, huh?” I said. “He was in rare form tonight since y’all were here.”

“He was cracking me up all night,” Colt stated as we pulled out of the parking lot.  “He was embarrassing you, wasn’t he?”

“Yes he was and trying his best to do so,” I said driving. “Now you saw why I never have asked you to come along before.   He insisted tonight so I had little choice.”

“Matt, did you notice he handed the bill to Gloria to pay?” Kris asked.

“Doesn’t surprise me at all,” I replied.

Pulling into our lot, I wondered what was in store for me.  “I wonder what Corey has been doing,” Colt pondered exiting my car.

“I’m about ready to tell him off, too.  This has gone on long enough,” Kris said.

“Kris, please.  You’ll only make things worse.  If he wants us to see other people and doesn’t want to be with me, what can I really do?”

“I think he’s full of shit and trying his best to make a point.  Matt, if I were you,” Colt said opening the door to our dorm. “I’d leave this weekend and go home.”

I climbed the stairs thinking about what he said.  Opening the door to our room after saying hi to Keith, I said, “Colt that’s a great idea.  I can clear my head a little and get away.”  I looked around but there were no signs of Corey.  Colt went to his room and didn’t see him there. 

“No telling what he’s up to,” Kris said.

“Kris, how about you and I go to Chase’s game this weekend and crash at my house?  We can leave the horse’s ass here to think things over,” Colt suggested.

“That sounds great, Colt!  I was about to ask where they played.  I really do wanna see them in action,” Kris said.

“I don’t wanna miss it if Chase gets jacked up by some linebacker,” Colt said and laughed. “How funny would that shit be?”

“Not very funny if he got hurt,” I stated.

“I’m talking about getting nailed after catching a pass. Of course I don’t wanna see him get hurt,” Colt said.

I headed off to my room to call Mom with the good news.  She knew Corey and I were fighting and thought it would be a great idea for us to be apart.  I played on the computer and logged on to Facebook to see how my other friends were doing. 

I came back out to find the living area vacant so I kicked back to watch some TV.  About ten, the door opened wide with Corey entering the room.   He didn’t have to tell me what he had been doing for I could smell the beer on him with some spilled down his tee.  We exchanged glances, with his not so friendly, but didn’t say a word.  He went to his room and shut the door.   Not longer after, Kris came in the door. 

“Is Corey here?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said and pointed at his door. “Kris, he’s been drinking.”

“Shit! I was going to talk to him but that would be useless if he’s drunk.”

“Thank you. I’m glad to see you have a little bit of sense about ya.”

We did see Colt before calling it a night.  He went to his room and came back to report Corey had passed out on the bed with a bottle of Jim Beam in his hand.  Kris and I headed to our room.

Laying on his side, Kris said, “Matt, I know what you’re thinking right now.  I can see worry written all over your face.”

“I’m scared he’ll do something really stupid while we’re gone this weekend.  He’ll be here alone and could do damage to himself and our things.”

“He best have better sense than that.  You really haven’t done one thing to him.  If he does mess with your shit, he’ll have to answer to me.”

“Thanks Kris.  Now I don’t know if I wanna go home.  What if he does vandalize all of our stuff?”

“I said he’ll deal with me then.  I’ll get Rick and have his ass arrested.”

“If he does want to break up, I wish he’d leave and switch rooms with one of the guys…”

Kris smiled, “Scott would be fucking perfect.”

“I was thinking the same thing but do we really want to have Shawn and Bryson endure another freak.  I think Garrett is enough for them.”

“We’ll get Shawn then… that’d be perfect as well.”

“Kris, I am about ready to throw up hands and forget about all of this.  I can’t sleep and have been so miserable for two whole days.  I could see if it if we hadn’t been getting along but there were no signs…”

“He was hiding it well.  You ask me he wanted to break up with you and found the perfect excuse.”

“Coward,” I said. “He didn’t have the guts to tell me.  It really doesn’t make a lot of sense.  We made great love two nights here.  Things couldn’t have been any greater. Then one little tiff and he’s finished.”

“Matt, could he be fucking around on you?  Maybe that’s where he was tonight…”

“I thought of that as well. If he is fucking around on me, he’s history.  I took him back one other time.  I’m not doing that again.”

“If he is, he’s no longer considered a friend.  He’s fucking scum if he is.”

Thanks to very little sleep the two previous nights and some Tylenol PM, I was out for the count after just a little more talking.  I woke Friday rested and ready to see what the day brought on. 

In my first class, Toni was as sweet as ever to me.  We talked a few minutes before and after class.  Entering my last class, I didn’t see Corey in class.  I was disappointed in that regard.

When I got back to the dorm room, Corey was gone and hopefully to work.  I packed my things and my load of laundry.  I waited to say goodbye to Kris and Colt.

After driving straight home, I had to wait a few minutes for Mom.  She gave me the sweetest understanding hug and kissed my cheek.  “Don’t let him get you down, son.  You’ve got too many things going for you not to be some other guy’s steal.”

“I know and I’m trying to keep that in mind.”

“I realize it hurts…”

“Yes, it hurts so much now.  I had three hours driving to think things over but still it makes no sense at all to me.”

“Sometimes the littlest spark can create the biggest forest fires,” Mom said.

“No crap,” I laughed.

“I’ll treat you right while you’re here and do everything to make you feel better,” she said.  “The hurt is written all over you.”

“Thanks,” I said.  I headed to my room to lie on my bed.  Rather than sulking and feeling sorry for myself, I pulled out my phone and began calling my old high school friends to see if anything was up.  Tanner was the first call.  Hearing his accent made me smile.   He said he, Brock and Johnny were heading to our old high school’s first football game and invited me to join in.  I jumped at the opportunity.

Mom totally understood and was glad I didn’t want to sit and sulk the entire time I was home.  Finding them in our old section brought back great memories.  Within five minutes, I was laughing hard at all the stupid things we did.  It was great plus I didn’t want to bring up Corey even though Tanner asked about him.  Once I lied, saying he was working, not another word was spoken about him.  Instead, we could watch the game and talk about Kris’s crazy antics. 

“Oh my god guys who’ll never believe who I ran into at college this semester,” I said at halftime with the game meaning nothing to me.

“Ummm… we don’t have a clue,” Brock said.

“Jacob!  Can you believe that shit?” I said.

They were laughing hard.  “First off, you’ve been hanging around Kris way too much.   That sounded just like Kris would say it,” Johnny laughed. “Maybe an octave lower.”

“Cut me a little slack.  I’m around him every day,” I laughed, agreeing in my head that would be exactly how Kris would put it.

“So is the old spark still flickering?” Tanner asked.

“That spark went out years ago,” I said shaking my head.  Then in the distance I heard our names being called.  I searched around and spotted Melissa heading up the bleachers in our direction.

“Matt, where’s Kris?” she asked.

“He and his friend Colt went to see Colt’s brother play,” I replied.

“You came without him?  What’s up with that?” she asked.

“I didn’t wanna be bored at the house,” I replied.

“Tell Kris I said hello,” she said, walking away.

“Fuck, would you look at that ass?  Man, why Kris still ain’t hitting that shit is beyond me,” Brock said.

“What do you care, brother?  You’re hitting older shit than that,” Johnny stated.

“Dude, don’t tell me you’re still after the older women,” Tanner said swinging his head around in Brock’s direction.

“Older women are the bomb,” Brock said.  “They love us younger studs.”

After the game, we headed over to Tanner’s house.  He was aching to show us a car he and his dad were working on plus it gave the four of us an excuse to have a few brews. 

“Matt, college sure has changed you so much,” Brock said, holding his beer.

“I’ll admit it has,” I said.

“For one his ass ain’t rail thin anymore.  I swear he actually has muscles.  There’s more of Kris’s influence,” Brock said. “Two, you never used to drink beer.”

Tanner busted out, “I told you about that night over at his friend’s house.  Matt was drunk off his ass.  Weren’t ya?”

“I was but I’ll never get like that again, ever,” I said.

“Keep saying that, dude,” Johnny laughed.

I only had a few to be sociable.  It had been such a great time being around them and in a different crowd.   I was walking away to my car. Tanner asked, “Matt, Whatcha doing tomorrow night?”

I replied, “What else? Watching our team play.”

“Hold on just a second there,” Brock said.  “No way you are sitting in front of the TV to watch college football.”

I smiled, “I am.  I know a few guys on the team so I’m interested.”

“Who?” Tanner asked.

“Ummm… Ted Wilcox and Luke McGee,” I said.

Tanner’s mouth was open wide, “Matt, you don’t know them.  You just picked two names out of some program.”

“Prove it,” Brock said.

“Ted lives down the hall with Luke… hold just two seconds,” I said.  I reached in my pocket to retrieve my phone.  I accessed my Facebook page with the picture of us and stuck it in their face.  “Does that prove it?”

“Oh my God, he does,” Tanner said.  “Dude, he is totally bad ass in my book.  This is so unbelievable.  Brock, add this to your list of ways Matt has changed.”

On the drive home, I had to call Kris.  He would barely let me talk while telling about how well Chase and Tabor had done in their game.  I was finally allowed to tell him about my night.  He sounded happy to hear all that I had done and asked a lot of questions.  We talked for a while before I hung up.

The next day, the second Saturday in September, Mom noticed a change in my demeanor.  I enjoyed all she did for me that day.  She too was shocked to hear when I insisted I had to watch the game.  The game was just starting when Tanner and Brock called to see if they could join me.  They were at my front door in a flash.  I wouldn’t let Mom leave until they flashed Ted’s face as one of the keys to the game.  Being Mom she had to spoil me and my friends with cookies.  We sat eating them as the second half started with the game tied.  I was so into the game with my stomach in knots. 

We scored the go-ahead touchdown, putting us ahead by six points with two minutes left.  I was on the edge of my seat as the other team took the ball.  The team was driving down the field.  They ran a play to the left.  The runner was met head on by number 48, Ted.  The ball popped in the air with the bone jarring hit with our team recovering it.  I jumped up and down with my phone ringing by my side.  I put Kris on speaker so they could hear his excitement along with everyone else there at Colt’s house.  Thankfully Mom was in her room so she didn’t hear Kris and the others belt out their words of excitement.

We wound down after we hung up with Kris.  Brock and Tanner left about eleven or so.  I was still excited that we had won and beat what I heard was a good team.  I went to speak with Mom but saw her light was off so I headed to my room.

I was dozing off when I heard my phone ring at my nightstand.  It rang once and stopped.  I looked at it but didn’t see a number.  I thought nothing of it.  Five minutes later it rang again.  I caught it and heard a click.  I was pissed as hell seeing Corey’s number.  Two minutes later it rang again.  It rang four times before I answered. 

“Matt… please don’t hang up…” I heard Corey’s voice.

“Give me a good reason why I shouldn’t,” I stated in the phone.  I began hearing Corey crying.  My eyes began to water and hated to hear it.

After a few seconds of silence, he spoke, “I need you Matt.  This… this is no joke… I need you now!”

“Stay calm, Corey,” I said.


Hope you enjoyed another chapter, Chapter 10, in my continuing story.   A big word of thanks to Andy and Big 'D' for all the help they so freely have offered as this saga continues.   Thanks to the best readers as well for all your encouragement and kind words as well. If you have comments and/or suggestions, you know I'm always open to them and appreciate them so much.   Email me at:

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