Another chapter written by Andy.  I know he appreciates all the feedback he's been receiving from
the other chapters in this quick mini series.
Posted:  December 29, 2011

I was sitting naked on my bed thinking about the holidays. The last few years I had
Matt by my side. When we first met in high school the crew and I went to see Johnny’s
uncle’s cabin during the winter break and although we had an amazing time it was the
when Matt and I got home when the bond between us started to grow. Since then the
winter breaks got progressively better. The third year I knew Matt was the first year
he surprised me by giving me a great gift; three boxes of condoms. When he gave me
them I laughed so hard. In return I gave him something he equally appreciated in
Street Fighter 3. 

After that came the Christmas from hell when Matt and I had stopped talking and I
spent most of the holiday alone. Finally, last year, was the best one yet. All of my
college friends went on the ski trip. This Christmas was fun, having Corey, Matt and
Linda over at my house for Christmas dinner, getting great gifts, but compared to
some of our previous adventures this Christmas was much quieter.

With Corey and Matt enjoying the holidays alone I fought the urge to call them and
ruin their sexual games. Matt mentioned something about making the most of his new
sexy underwear. So I phoned Scott instead on my new iPhone and asked for a few
pointers since he had one as well.

“Hey Kris, sorry I can’t speak long, I’m entertaining at the moment.”

“Hayden?” I asked.

“I am not telling!” He laughed and hung up on me.

I tried calling Colt but Tabor answered the phone.

“Now isn’t a good time, Kris. Bob and Colt are fighting again. Colt mentioned in
passing that Corey and Matt would be sleeping in the same room for the wedding and
Bob made another faggot comment. Chase was out of his chair defending them but Bob
yelled at him for butting in and then Colt came to Chase’s defense. Honestly between
you and me, Kris, Chase and Colt seem to be getting along much better these days.”

“That sucks about Bob, but good for Chase and Colt. Just wish them happy holidays
from me, and you too.”

“You got it, dude, you too.”

With that I hung up. It was sad being alone on the holidays but I tried entertaining
myself with my phone and working out. Maybe I was getting sentimental, being holiday
season and me being alone. I could not be more impressed with Matt over the past year
and a half, how we went from the deal to get him to socialize, to finding a boyfriend
and opening up to his sexual activities with me, Colt and Scott. 

The single life was okay but when it came down to it, to the times that really
matter, like Christmas, New Years, and especially Valentine’s Day, I want to be with
the people I love. For as long as remembered I had a girl to turn to. Melissa, Alison
and Liz come to mind. I should have been happy, but I didn’t have a girl in my life.
When I felt I needed sex when I was at home my first call was to Karen. We had two
great fuck sessions before I left high school and we experienced some great sex over
the summer holiday.

After calling her up, we met up at the local coffee shop she liked.

“Kristopher, I haven’t seen you around lately.”

“You know I’m at College.”

“Well, you are as hot as ever,” she said running her finger over my chest.

“Karen, I need you in the worst way,” I said, not really in the mood for chit chat
and horny as hell.

“Kris, I always have time for you. We’ve had some great fucks.” 

With that she took me by the hand and led me to her car, driving us to her place.
Karen and I didn’t have a great friendship but we were there for each other when we
had urges. As soon as we got in her front door we started kissing and stripping each
other, quickly making our way to her bed where we had amazing sex. She complemented
me on my new moves but after our encounter I left feeling a little disturbed. During
the summer we had satisfied each other, but now, almost six months later, I barely
felt anything. Sure I came but the whole experience was missing something. I said
goodbye to her and left with a kiss that lacked any form of passion.

Walking back to my car that was still parked outside the coffee place I didn’t know
what to think. Maybe it was Karen. I thought back to two of the best sexual
encounters of my life. Amy from the grocery store, who approached me and took me back
to her place where she did things to me I never dreamed possible. And Sammi, who I
met at the bar on Market Street who I had been back to more than once since that
first night that had messed with my head and ended things with Jacee.

It had to be Karen. That must have been it. Nobody else made me feel like I was
missing something. I decided to call Amy to see if she was free and wanted another
session with me. At least this time I wouldn’t be so shy since I knew it would be for
nothing but sex.

That night, after calling her, she agreed to meet me since her boyfriend was busy. I
felt bad for still going to her when I knew she had a boyfriend but I needed to sleep
with her. The moment I got there she kissed me with those lips that made me shiver. I
was barely there two seconds before she had me in my boxers and on the couch.

She kissed down my body, gave me an amazing blow job and the rode my cock on the
couch for a good half hour before we both came, collapsing in a hot sweaty mess.
After we recovered she offered me a drink and we went into the kitchen where I fucked
her again on the kitchen counter to an incredible climax. After that I got dressed,
kissed her goodbye and headed home.

The next morning I woke up feeling as miserable as ever, even though I had fucked two
different women the day before and had cum on four separate occasions. I felt empty.
Karen and I had no chemistry at all, it was just a fuck. Then with Amy the sex was
unbelievable, I mean mind blowing, but again there was no real connection and I
couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. 

I was just lying around, naked and wallowing in my own self-pity, knowing that Mom
and Dad had gone out when there was a knock at the door. I threw on a robe and went
to answer it to find someone I never expected to just show up on my doorstep;

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“That’s a nice way to greet me. My Dad was being a bigger dick than normal asking
what happened between Scott and I. Then Samson and Sadi, my brother and his
girlfriend, were making out like crazy and I just had to get out of there. In drove
around for ages and even rang some of the others but they never answered and I
figured I’d try my luck with you.”

“I see… I’m really sorry about you and Scott. I know you weren’t looking for a
relationship,” I said, motioning for him to come in and follow me up to my bedroom
for nice chat.

“Kris, in all honesty, I miss Scott a lot. That being said, I am happy he and Hayden
have reconnected. Plus, Dad wouldn’t have liked it if took Scott home. When you were
brought up in the home I was in, gay actions were criminal so I had to be discrete.”

Without thinking about it I took off the robe and gave Brennan the bed to get
comfortable. He relaxed a little but it was pretty obvious to me he was lonely and he
had nowhere else to go.

“Which reminds me,” Brennan said, changing the subject. “Where’s Matt?”

“How the hell would I know? You know, we’re not joined at the hip?” I laughed.
“Actually, Corey and Matt have been inseparable. Why do you want to talk to him?”

“Maybe he can help me try to win Scott back?”

“Brennan, I will be honest, unless you want a relationship there’s no point in it.”

“That’s true.” He looked down in shame. 

I could understand his feelings, but I too was having conflicting issues to deal
with. It was killing me and I had to ask him the question on my mind. I had another
bisexual guy in my bedroom.

“Bro, I really need some honest advice, but I need this to remain a secret between
us, okay? Hopefully this will help us both out.”

“Okay. What’s up?” Brennan asked. 

“I need some help and you’re the perfect person to ask.” I said, thinking about how
to phrase it. I just came out with it. “How did you know you’re bisexual and not

Brennan shot back and answer so quickly it surprised me. “I’m bisexual because when I
have sex it could be with either a girl or a guy and I feel same way. Scott and I
spoke about this before and he mentioned to me that his first year in college he
didn’t know which way he was leaning. He had a girlfriend in high school, Jemine and
after that came Kara and his brief period of liking Matt. Then he liked Hayden and
Jess. He goes where the wind blows and so do I. If being with a girl feels right, I
go with a girl, and vice versa.”

I took that in but for me I knew the wind blew towards girls. However, my experience
with Colt over the past year had changed me. “But in the end you’ll find someone to
love and regardless of gender that will be sex you end up with?”

“Yes. It could be guy or it could be a girl. The point is I won’t know until it
happens. When you fall in love, you fall in love. Why? Is this troubling you?”

“Yes! I think I may be gay!” I blurted it out. “Not that there’s anything wrong with
that but I fucked Corey, Matt, Colt and Scott and I made love to Colt more than

“You’ve fucked more girls than both Scott and I have. You’ve never cruised for guys.
With the exception of your close friends you’ve never sought out action with a man
and I doubt you ever would.”

“Before Scott came over, when we fucked each other, I asked Colt to help me out and
when he turned me down I was too lazy to go find hot girl so when Scott dropped by I
used him for my pleasure.”

“No you didn’t, Kris. Scott told me how much fun he had with you and that it was
worth it just for one time with you. He loved every second of it. He told me that
Hayden and I are the only ones who can match your stamina. You do have point though.
Scott, and especially Colt, Corey and Matt are close to you so you have easy access
to sex.”

“I just don’t know. I’m willing to have sex with guy because they’re close by instead
of getting some pussy. What does that say about me?”

“It says you’re fucking lazy!” Brennan said and we both laughed. “However, I think I
have way to settle this.”

“How?” I asked, intrigued.

“How do you feel about me?”

“You’re a friend, why?”

“As close as Matt, Colt, Corey or Scott?”

I hesitated.

“That’s a no then, it’s okay, Kris. I’m closer with Alex than I am with any of you.
We all have our best friends and those who are just good friends.”

“Well you’re definitely a good friend.”

“I’m glad to hear it. I think this can work then.”

“What can?”

“Sex. I know you wouldn’t go out and pick up some random guy to experiment with but
I’m not some random guy so you should feel comfortable. But at the same time, I’m not
so close to you that you might mistake our friendship for deeper feelings. With me
you get to see if you like guys or you just like having sex with guys.”

That was it! I didn’t have any connection with Karen or Amy, but when I fucked Colt
and Matt there was a connection which may have made it feel special. Brennan and I
didn’t share the same kind of bond so maybe sex with him would answer all of my

“Let’s do it!” I said, pulling him in to a hot kiss.

There was little talking after that. We headed to the shower to do some prep work and
wash each other’s bodies. Brennan was unlike any guy I had been with so far because
while he wasn’t in bad shape he was nowhere near as built as the other guys I’ve
fucked. It was strange running my hands over his stomach because he didn’t really
have the abs that the others had and his skin felt more like a woman’s; it was soft
and smooth. I felt myself missing the more muscular bodies like Colt’s. I think it
was in part the muscles and the admiration for the muscles that turned me on.

Brennan did have a nice big, uncut dick though, not unlike Scott’s but a good inch
bigger. I sank to my knees in the shower and took it in to my mouth. It was similar
to Matt’s in size but the addition of the foreskin had some kind of effect on me that
made me want it that much more. After a few minutes Brennan pulled me to my feet,
kissed me passionately and left the shower to get dressed while I readied myself for
what was to come.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself quickly, wanting to get back to Brennan
and get the experiment under way. When I re-entered the bedroom he was standing by my
dresser, a condom already rolled down his hard cock and he was lubing himself up. I
hopped up on to the bed on all fours and presented my ass to him.

Soon, Brennan’s hands were on my ass, spreading my cheeks and he briefly ate my tight
little hole before lubing it up and sliding a finger inside. When I moaned with
pleasure I heard him chuckle and he stepped up, rubbing his hard cock over my hole
before slowly pressing in. I gasped with his entry, his dick feeling much bigger than
I thought it would.

Brennan was gentle though and he took his time sinking his big cock inside me. We
both moaned as he bottomed out. After a minute he started rocking back and forth,
pulling his dick in and out of me slowly, with more of his dick leaving my hole on
every backwards thrust, only to be driven back in.

I quickly got in to the amazing feelings of his dick slicing its way through me,
stretching me and running over that spot inside me again and again. Then suddenly
Brennan pulled out and flipped me over so I was on my back. He threw my legs up onto
his shoulders and quickly pushed his dick back inside me, leaning over me slightly
and thrusting harder into my ass.

I looked up into his eyes to see the lust and pleasure in them. Having his dick
inside me felt great, like it did any other time I got fucked, and I felt that same
adrenaline rush of giving up my body to another guy, submitting to him and giving up
some of the power that I am so proud to have in most situations. I really got a kick
out of that.

That being said, there was something missing too. Maybe it was the emotional
connection that I had with Colt and Matt. With them it was like I was sharing
something really special with them and that it somehow brought us even closer than we
already were. With Brennan, it felt like it had with Jacee, and to a lesser extent
Liz, in that what we were sharing were the amazing feelings caused by having sex and
little else.

As those thoughts were running through my mind Brennan pushed my legs apart and bent
down to kiss me, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I accepted his tongue and started
sucking on it, slipping mine into his mouth and throwing my arms around him as he
began to really fuck me, his big dick running over my spot constantly, making me
breathe faster and race head on in to an incredible orgasm that came almost instantly
when Brennan pulled back and wrapped his hand around my cock. He pulled his dick out
of me while I was still shooting and shot his load all over my chest and abs.

I lay there panting and looking up at Brennan thinking about how great getting fucked
was and how I did really like it, but at the same time, there was something missing
with Brennan, something I only seemed to feel with Colt, but I couldn’t answer the
question of what that was.

After that I collapsed back on the bed and Brennan asked me the question I knew he
would. “How did that feel?”…..


It had been two days since Brennan and I fucked. He had asked how I felt afterwards
but I just told him that I didn’t know. It was the truth. Having sex with Brennan
allowed me to feel something, and I enjoyed the experience, but it was nothing
compared to when I was with Colt, or even Matt. But I did feel something, no matter
how small, and that scared me. I sat in my room being uncharacteristically
antisocial. The high school gang, along with Matt and Corey, were spending time at
Tanner’s place. I told them I had a date with Shannon since I just didn’t know what
to do. 

“Kris,” Mom called.

I got up from the chair in my room and opened the door to shout down, “Yeah, mom?”

“Would you mind going to the store? We’re running low on a few things and I need to
prepare dinner.”

Maybe getting some air would do me some good so I ventured out in the car and went to
the grocery store. While there I picked up the things Mom wanted and noticed a guy
checking me out. I looked at him for a brief moment and he came over to the fruit
section and made contact with me.

“Hey, I’m John. I couldn’t help noticing how ripped you are. You must work out a

“Yeah, my friends and I work out a lot at college. I’m Kris.” 

“Yeah, Kris… I couldn’t help checking you out.” John mentioned. “You are so fucking
hot.” I looked him over and had to admit he was handsome. I still couldn’t believe I
thinking that about a guy.

“You are okay,” I offered.

Without any warning John tried to kiss me right there in the store. I pulled back and
placed my hand on his chest as he came toward me, not wanting to be seen kissing a
guy in public. It worried me slightly that was what I was most worried about and not
the fact that the guy was trying to kiss me in the first place.

A grocery worker came by and saw us, saying quite loudly, “For god sakes, take the
fucking queer fag action out of here.”

That was it. My temper went in to overdrive as I pulled away from John and threw a
huge watermelon I quickly picked up at the guy’s head. “Don’t ever call me a queer,
you dumb fuck.”

I turned to look at John, his shocked face spoke volumes. “Well here I thought you
were a hot college guy worthy of my dick, but now I see you’re just a prick who can’t
control his fucking temper.”

“You heard what he said,” I argued. “You were really going to let that comment go?”

“Yes,” he answered. “People are idiots, they are ignorant bastards and speak way too
much, but I start fucking throwing punches or fruit at them and I could end up in
jail. Now fuck off.” He pushed his cart away.

I didn’t understand what was happening. Would I have been okay with that guy trying
to kiss me if we had been somewhere else? I quickly grabbed the rest of the stuff on
Mom’s list and went home, thinking about my temper. Was I wrong? No I wasn’t, I
decided. By the time I got home, dinner was ready.

Mom, Dad and I sat eating for a bit while I told them about the upcoming wedding. It
was an enjoyable meal but I kept thinking about the near kiss and it was really
playing with my mind.

After dinner Matt called me and told me to go over to his, which surprised me seeing
as they were not due back until the next day. I got to his house and went up to
Matt’s room, flinging open the door with a bang, expecting to find Corey and Matt
together, but instead it was Matt naked as can be reading To Kill a Mocking Bird.

“I didn’t expect this.” I said with his nudity catching me by surprise.

“What?” he asked, looking down at his body, “What can I say? You seem to be rubbing
off on me.”

“So, where’s Corey?” I asked as I started stripping of my clothes before climbing on
the bed next to Matt.

“He’s staying with Tanner. I wanted to come back. I’ve been worried about you lately.
The spark in your eyes has been missing and I knew you didn’t have date either.”

I grabbed Matt and held him in my arms. “Matt, honestly, there have been things
bugging me for a while.”

Matt looked up at me and turned around to face me. “I think I know what it. Ever
since you came home you’ve been a little sad. I think you miss college too much.”

I was scared, that answer was also true, “Yeah, I really miss it. It seems like home.
When I came back here over the break it felt like I didn’t belong in my own bedroom.”

“I must admit, I felt the same way. Waking up the morning I got home and not seeing
your hot ass poking out the bed, it was a little different.”

“Yeah, I think subconsciously that is why I went to the College when we had a little

“Probably, you’re connected to that college, not only because you met Colt and made
some great friends, but your whole family has been going to that school for

“That is so true.” I said. I couldn’t hold it any longer. “Matt, I am scared.”

“What?” he asked, taken by surprise, “What is it?”

“I’m loving gay sex more and more. I think I’m becoming gay.”

“Kris. Don’t take this wrong way but you are not gay. Having sex with guys does not
make you gay.”

“It makes me Scott.”

“No, it doesn’t. Scott is bisexual. He loves girls and guys. You have sex with us
because you are horny and we can help you with that urge. You never fell in love with
me, or Colt, or Corey. You fell in love with girls.”

“What do you mean?” I was relieved I was able to talk to Matt about this.

“If you and I made wild passionate love like I do with Corey, you’d get off, you’d
enjoy it, but in the end it would just be a pleasurable experience for you, that’s
it. When Corey and I make love, it’s passionate, full of so much love and energy,
that it makes the world go away.”

“That’s how it felt when I made love to Melissa for the first time. She was my first
crush and became my first love. When she gave me that blow job before we went to
college there was so much love in it and when we got together this Christmas break,
we made love, we didn’t just fuck.”

“That makes so much sense. Kris you loved her. Just like Alison?”

“No Alison was different, she was there for me in my time of need and she never truly
loved me. We realized that when I went home our first year, you know when Kevin said
those awful things about you? We talked all night and she told me after we had sex
that it lacked the passion it should have if we were in love. As I told you before,
there was nothing left there and we agreed to end it. We are good friends still.”

“When have you not remained friends with someone?”

“True. Karen and Shannon were just good fuck buddies. There was no connection there
it was just sex.

“I see. Was it just sex with Liz too?” Matt asked me.

“I really don’t know. We dated almost the whole first semester. She was so like me
and she was able to handle my friends. Near the end, when me, you, Corey and Liz were
talking in our nightly chats, I thought Liz and I would continue seeing each other,
but it didn’t happen. During Christmas last year I didn’t even miss her.”

“So, use your Kris charm and go after her.”

“Matt, I don’t think it was love. She was just a great friend to hang around with,” I

“So did you love any of the girls who you’ve been with in college?”

“I don’t think so. Jacee was a passing fad, and although cheating on her was wrong
and nearly cost me my friends, I think subconsciously I knew it was over and I came
to realization I just wanted sex. I spent the semester trying to match the two best
fucks I had.”

“Who with?” He asked with interest.

“Amy, I told you about her and the encounter I had with her last summer, and Sammi of
course. All the people I fucked after Jacee I was just looking to get laid to match
the sexual energies I had with them. The funny thing is I called Amy recently and we
fucked, but I felt nothing.”

“Nothing like the first time?”

“Nope. That’s what’s scary, the best fuck in world didn’t do thing with me. I feel
things when I fuck Colt though.”

“Bro,” he leaned up and kissed me softly on the lips. “I don’t think you’re gay. I
don’t think you will ever be gay. You have never chased guys at school, you admitted
some of them are hot and you enjoy gay activities… but you’re not gay.”

“Thanks Matt,” I said smiling.

That night Matt and I fell asleep in each other’s arms, though nothing happened
between us other than a little spooning. When I woke up still on the bed I opened my
eyes and looked over to see Nathan sitting in a chair across from me.

“Hello, Kris.”

“Nathan…? What the…?”

“We need to talk,” Nathan said kindly. “I know Derek spoke to you about your temper

“I plan to change that.” I said

“Yeah, but I want to talk to you about this other issue you’re having.”

“Nathan, I love you and all, but you’re dead, how can you help me?”

“Thanks for reminding me, Bro. I was gay remember. I think I can help you understand
if you’re gay too.”

“I don’t need any help,” I said. Nathan came and sat on the bed.

“Really? Then what are you? You keep sleeping with other guys. And you don’t have
much emotional attachments to girls.”

I was getting defensive. “Nathan, I had a connection with Melissa and Liz.”

“Two girls! What about the boys?”

“What boys?”

“I don’t know… Let’s start with Matthew Raymond.”

“We slept together. It was something we wanted to try, nothing more. In fact it
opened up to more experimenting.”

“Ah, yes, the little performance on the road trip,” Nathan said matter-of-factly.

“There’s nothing romantic about my feeling for Matt. Sure I wanted to fuck him. I
know he wanted to fuck me. But that’s all it was, two friends who can enjoy each
other body.” I stood up naked and started pacing. Nathan sat up and spoke.

“Brother, listen to me. Be honest. If Matt said he didn’t want to fool around
anymore, would you be okay with that?”

“Yes, I would,” I said, a little too quickly. “I want Matt to be happy, and if he
wanted to save his sexual energies for Corey I would be fine with that. Matt means
the world to me. He replaced you in a way.”

“Thanks, I’m glad I could be replaced so easily,” Nathan joked.

“You know what I mean. You know the state I was in. Then Matt came into my life and
became like a brother. If we had any true feelings for each other and we fell in love
that would be… like…”

“Incest?” Nathan offered.

“Yes.” I sat back down and Nathan put an arm around my shoulder. “What about Corey?”

“What about him? I don’t have any feelings for him on an emotional level.”

Nathan looked me in the eye, “Really?”

“Yes. When we fucked there was no emotion. I was drunk and needed some action so my
friends took care of me.”

“But you had no emotional attachment?”


“Then why did you need to apologize to him with blow job?”

“Because I spat in his face.”

“A straight man, even with bi tendencies, may not think giving a friend a blow job
would equal an apology.”

“Nate, the truth is, I was never good at admitting my true feelings. Sure, I tell
Matt, Corey and Colt how much I love them and how we’re great friends but by doing
that with Corey, I could prove how much I love him.”

“How much you love him?”

“Would you stop being a fucking shrink? Be a brother.”

“I’m sorry, but being dead all this time gives you a lot of time to reflect and gain
some wisdom. I am you brother, Kristopher. I don’t know what you want me to say. I
think feelings about whether you are gay or not are clouding you from another issue.”

“Yeah?” I said standing up again and facing him. “What would that issue be?”

“Let’s review, brother. Matt is just a replacement brother who you wouldn’t ever fall
in love with… Corey is just a friend who you can have fun with… What about Scott…? Or

“Scott was mistake! We both loved the sex but I used him and felt bad about it. When
Brennan fucked me it meant nothing, it just felt good.”

Nathan got up and pushed me in to the chair. “Brother… You didn’t feel anything for
Brennan because he wasn’t as close to you; not as much as Scott and the rest of them
are. You only feel comfortable engaging in gay activities with your best friends.
That’s why you feel bad about having sex with Scott, why you had fun with Corey and
Matt during your sex play. You love them as friends and you trust them enough to have
sex with them. It doesn’t mean you’re gay. It just means your friendship has reached
different levels of closeness. That’s all.”

“I think I understand. Me and the guys are just playing around. That’s all.”


“But you thought this gay exploration was a smokescreen for a deeper issue?”


It clicked in my brain.

“No… NO… NO!!!” I screamed waking up from that realization.

“Kris, it’s four in the morning, go back to bed.” I looked into Matt’s blue eyes and
he could see the pain I was in. All this time it was so clear. These gay thoughts
were just trying to rationalize my thought patterns. I could not believe it was true.

I started crying. I am not gay. Matt pulled me close to him.

“Kris talk to me. What’s wrong?”

I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t even tell myself. The tears kept flowing. The images
of the past year were floating in my head. It made sense. 

“I can’t! I can’t!” 

“Kris it was just a bad dream.”

“No Matt… It was worse than that. I’m not gay!”

“I’ve been telling you that all night!”

“It all makes sense though. The Spring vacation, the camping trip, the time at your
place over the summer, the talk in the tent, the shower, and the blowing up at him,
especially the night after we came back from Noah and Kendall’s place, not to mention
the time before the holidays.”

“What the fuck are you talking about Kris?”

“I think I’m in love with Colt.”


Hope you enjoyed the next chapter of this story written by Andy.  He explores what
Kris will be doing during the Christmas break from college.  Watch for the next
chapter soon!!!

You can email him, which he would enjoy, at:  or comment as
always in the area provided below.