The day started out as any other Saturday in my small out of the way town. Heath, my cousin, and Lane threw pebbles at my window to
wake me up. My ten year old self loved Saturdays. I would sneak out while mom was sleeping and have fun with Heath and Lane. They
were great guys, always great with me, and always made me laugh.
That morning, Heath smiled and brought me out to the nearby creek. Lane had run ahead as always. I didn’t think anything of it until just
we were reaching the tree we normally played at, Lane jumps up at me and throws a small snake at me. They knew I hated them, and
was scared to death of them. When it landed on the ground, I yelled and climbed the tree as quickly as I could. Lane and Heath just
“That wasn’t funny.”
Lane smiled back. “Of course it was.” He threw the snake into the creek. “Get down from there; we don’t have a lot of time this morning
to play.”
“Don’t remind me,” I said with a whimper. Knowing that Mom was marrying that asshole was not something I looked forward to. It was
bad enough in the shit house where I lived, that I could hear loud screams from Mom’s bedroom of their fucking. But, for him to be my
father, that was the worse.  I never told Heath and Lane about him.
“Your mom is getting married?” Heath smiled trying to find a silver lining as I climbed down from the tree.
“Yeah, so? It’s not like Marie has won the mother of the year award?”  Which was true, most nights she doesn’t even register I am in the
room, and if something important happens, she just laughs it off.
Knowing what I meant, Lane and Heath exchanged looks. “What did she do now?”
“She was out all night with that Larry guy, and I had to find dinner again. When your choices are limited to bread and ketchup packets,
it’s hard to be creative.”
“Why didn’t you come to our place?”  Lane asked knowing the answer.
Instead of answering, I switched the conversation to fishing. We spent most of the morning chatting. What I never told Lane or Heath
was about Larry’s abusiveness toward me. Some slaps here and there, nothing that really hurt.
It was about two hours before the wedding and I had to go back and get dressed. I really had nothing that would be suitable attire. I
found a nice blue shirt that smelled okay and my smartest jeans. I put on one of my dad’s ties.  Larry, wearing an old blue suit, came by
early; it was arranged that I would be picked up, so Marie didn’t have to worry about me while she put on her wedding dress.
I got in the front seat of his beat up pickup truck, and put on my seatbelt. I really didn’t like talking to him.
“Boy,” he began, “as of right now, your attitude better shape up.”
“What?” I said, wondering where he was going with this. In the two years I had known Larry I had been kind to him.
“Boy, don’t you be lying to me again?”
“Larry. What are you talking about? I have always been nice to you.”
“Boy, you listen and you listen good. I expect my kids to behave right. You have given your mother lip for two years. When, I was 10
years old I showed my parents respect.”
“She deserved it!”  I yelled. Larry smacked my face hard.
“I don’t care. You will be a good son, and I won’t have you disrespecting me or your mother. And that means no more fucking lies, or
sneaking out to play with shitty friends.”
“What are wrong with my friends?” I tested him.
“They are idiots. I don’t understand what you see them, Boy.”
“I see more in those idiots, than I see in you.” I tried to be kind and nice, but this was too much. Nobody messes with my friends.”
“What did I tell you about respect?”
“Ever heard of earning it?”
“Shut up! Now you see here. This is your final warning. You better start learning some respect.”
I didn’t say anything. Larry slapped me again. He said, “Am I clear, Junior?”
“My name is Corey!” I said, trying to stand up for myself.  He slapped me on the back of the head hard.
“I don’t care boy! Do you understand me, no more lying!”
“I don’t lie!”  I said loudly.
“Where were you two nights ago?”
“I was at home!”
“DON’T LIE!”  He smacked me again. “DO YOU GET ME, BOY?” 
“Yes, Larry.” I gave in. How the fuck do I get away from him.
“Good, now after the wedding, make yourself scarce; go play with your shitty friends or whatever. I don’t want you around for the
whole weekend.”
“Yes, Larry.” I said defeated, holding my cheek. It hurt. Some good news; I wouldn’t have to hear their sex anymore.
The wedding began and Mom looked like nice in her mother’s gown. I just sat with Lane and Heath making jokes through the ceremony.
The minister didn’t even want to be there it looked like.
Afterwards, I drove back with Heath and his father, and kept my mouth closed about Larry’s little talk. We arrived at the reception in
Larry’s backyard, where I would be living.  Larry was smiling and talking to a family friend. He introduced me to Robert, who looked
about Larry’s age and had a big nose and big fists. I answered his questions as quickly and politely as I could. As I walked away, Robert
winked at me.
As the night went on a girl, who was my age asked to dance to a slow song. I nodded, and tried to make the most of it. Her name was Jill
and we were in the same class at school. However, she was more popular and seemed to look down her nose at me. However, during
the dance she said she actually thought I was cute. At the end of the song, she goes up to kiss me, but her hands yank my pants down. I
was standing there in my white briefs and the whole crowd laughed. I walked into the house, embarrassed.
Larry came in, and forced me back out, telling me it was no big deal. Robert, who was nearby, said he enjoyed it. I was saved though,
Heath and Lane had stolen some beers and we ran away to the creek to drink them. They mentioned in passing that Robert gave the girl
five dollars to pants me.
“Hey,” Heath smiled. “At least, you were wearing underwear that time.”
“Yeah, we pantsed you three weeks ago and I saw your entire package,” Lane laughed.
“That was fun,” I recalled the event, “which reminds me, I never did return the favor.”
Without giving them any warning, I came at them full blast and pushed them both into the creek. I went in after them. The stars were
coming out, as we splashed each other.
“Hey guys,” I said, after we stripped off our clothes and swam around, “let’s never lose this friendship.”
“Of course, Corey,” Heath and Lane dunked my head underwater.
I was waking up from another day in my favorite household, I thought sarcastically. I got to school and come home, and avoid my
stepfather. Larry and I have understanding, he leaves me alone, and  I leave him alone. This truce has worked for the past two years.
Now as finally settled into the routine, things seemed to be okay,  I thought positively.
I just had got home from my school, and was just going to the family room to enjoy the television. There was nothing particularly
interesting on TV. I was turning channels and I saw this guy. He had brown hair was in his mid-teenage years, and looked so damn hot.
Did I just think that? No?  I watched the rest of the show, and didn’t pay attention to the other characters. After the show ended, I found
who the hot guy was; I went to my room and locked the door.
I searched online for the pictures of Benjamin McKenzie. And I found twenty or so nice pictures. I really didn’t know what was coming
over me. But, the guy was so much hotter, than any of the girls on that show.  I found this picture with him shirtless. At that moment, my
dick had become erect. I only recently discovered masturbation. So, using the picture as stimulation, I went to work out at it.  I didn’t
even process the reason that this guy was turning me on. I just let it take over.  I finally nutted, and made it over the bed.
“Happy 12th Birthday to me,” I said to myself out loud to nobody.  That night, there was no celebration, no acknowledgement of this
date. We just had a normal dinner, well; not really normal as Robert was in attendance also.
The next few days at school, I would think of nothing but that hot stud Ben.  However the next Friday; that all changed. It was phys. Ed.
And I was picked last in dodge ball group. I didn’t mind I was used to it. However, on the opposite side, was their captain John James
Thompson, who everybody called JJ.  I don’t know what was wrong with me; but I kept getting hit by the ball, and sat down on the
I while I waited for the next game to play, my eyes never left JJ. It is weird all through school, we sat in the same row, but he never once
spoke to me, or made any show of friendship my way. Last week he and his main man Teague were lying because some kid tripped over
his shoes.
Now, I just kept my eyes on his the entire time. I wonder what were under those shorts. I didn’t know just think that. The game just
ended, and I needed to get away. But as I was walking home, JJ and his bud were behind me.
“Corey?”  Teague yelled.
“What?” I called back.
I stopped and they ran up. “I just wanted to say thanks for such a great game.” JJ said.
“Really?” I was taken aback by this rare complement.
“Yeah, thanks to your ability to dodge the ball, we just kept winning and winning and winning.” Teague summed up. At that JJ laughed
and they both ran off in the opposite direction. I just stared at them. My eyes were focused on JJ butt.
I needed to jerk off. I ran as quickly as I could back home. Mom was not at home; but Larry was.
“Corey what are you doing home?”
“I felt like it.”
“Why don’t you just go outside? All you do is spend time at home on the computer.” He said with small sense of concern.
“You give a care. That’s a first.”  I ran upstairs before he could process what I just said. I locked the door stripped naked and found the
computer picture on Ben and started stroking it. That was great, I thought after I shot another load.
The next day, Larry told me, that he and my mother were going away for the weekend. Where he didn’t mention, and I didn’t really
want to know.
“I arranged for a baby sitter.”
“I am not a baby. I said.”
“I don’t care. You are not staying alone in my house.” Just on cue, Robert smiled and walked into the living room.
He said. “Don’t worry Corey, me and you will have a great weekend. I am sure.”
I nodded and headed outside to play by the creek. Nobody was there, so I just swam for a bid in the nude like I always did. Even in the
winter, the water wasn’t that cold for me.
Around 8 o’clock, I decided to go home and just watch some tv. I came in and Robert was watching football.
“How was your day?” Robert said very nicely to me.
“It was nice. I just did some swimming by lake.” I answered politely. There was nothing about Robert directly that I didn’t like. He
seemed like a fun guy. When he came over to dinner, he did his best to make me laugh.
We spent the evening, with him trying to teach me the game.  By the end of the night I seemed to understand it. And by the end of it,
he had drank four beers.
“Hey, Corey you okay?” He seemed concerned.
“I am good.”
“You sure, you seem done.”
“Nah, I am okay.” I didn’t really want to talk to him about these weird feelings I have.
“I think I know what will make you feel better.”
I turned to him, and he smiled. “When, my older brother and I were young, and he wanted to cheer me up he would give me a kiss.”
“A kiss.” I said unsurely.
“Yeah, on the lips. It works every time.” 
I didn’t know if it was the beer talking, or he what but I didn’t like were this was going.” Let me show you.”
Before I could move, Robert was on me. He kissed softly on the cheek first, and then on the other. I really wanted to get away. This
didn’t feel right. Then, he kissed me on the lips.
It was long kiss, and just sat there. I didn’t even know what to think of feel, but one level I did enjoy the feeling. However, I didn’t like
this touching. However, Robert didn’t seem to notice or care.
He broke the kiss. “Did that help?”
“Not really.” I spoke the truth.
“Oh okay. This might.”  He pushed me down gently on the sofa. His hand pushed my t-shirt up, and the other hand explored my chest. I
really didn’t like this one bit. “Please stop.” I said weakly.
“Corey, trust me; this will make you feel better.” I didn’t like how much his hands explored me. I didn’t like at all. The moment Marie
and Larry returned I would tell him what occurred. They will put a stop to him, in the meantime; I tried to be strong and just went along
with it. I knew it was wrong. But I just wanted his hands away from me.  After it ended I went to bed, feeling ashamed and used.
The weird part of the whole thing, through the touching, I did my best to think of Ben was touching me, or JJ. The next night,
unfortunately Robert felt like I needed some more comforting. I took it again, knowing eventually it will be over.
It was Tuesday when Marie and Larry returned. Robert had stopped Sunday night though.
That afternoon after school, I went to Mom who was watching some show on TV.
“Mom. I don’t want to Robert to come over anymore.”
“Why?” He said angrily.
“He touched me down there.” I said frankly.
She just started laughing. “Let me guess, he was on his third or fourth beer?”
“Yes!” I said seriously.
“Don’t worry about it, he was just having a good time.”
“I didn’t appreciate it.”
She just laughed and went into the kitchen. I maybe Larry, would help me out.
He came home from work, and I waited until he was watching his news program. That is when he was most relaxed and receptive to my
“Look, Larry. I really don’t want Robert around me anymore. He was doing things I didn’t like.”
“Like what?”
He was feeling me up; he touched my chest, my stomach, and my lower parts.”
“Did you cry after it happened?”
“Yes, I did.” I said honestly.
He got up and picked me up and opened the door to backyard and threw me outside. “Corey! I don’t care what he did. Just is a fucking
man about it. “It is not big deal.”
That night, I realized I was on my own, and I went to bed realizing two things. 1. I didn’t want the Robert anywhere near me. 2. I liked
being touched down there, and I wanted JJ to do it
The next day, I was in the library trying to sort out my feelings, and I started writing in my notebook. I was just writing little phrases. I
was watching JJ in corner with his friends laughing it up. There were two friends that seemed to telling most of the stories. I don’t know
what I was feeling about JJ, but I wanted to be him. I smelled my clothes; they smelled of the rat hell I came from.
“Hey?” I heard someone say from the table across from me. “Can I borrow a pencil, bro?”
“Uh…okay.”  I lent him the writing instrument and looked to see what he was doing. “Studying?”
“Hardly; just writing down stuff I want to say to this girl in my class. I get kind of nervous.”
“Who’s the girl?”
“Jill Patterson.”  I knew Jill well; we haven’t spoken since the wedding. She was in JJ’s crowd. It surprised me that this guy, who I seen
around wants to try to with her. “Why her?”
“She is hot, and I don’t know. My sisters thought I could never have a chance with her.”
“Really?  Honestly, man I don’t see it. But, then again I had a humiliating experience with her in the past.”
“I show you. I will meet you here after school, and we will see what happens.”
“Okay, the name’s Corey.”
“Elliot…see you back here in four hours.”
I went back to notes when he went off to his class scribbling more words. The next hours went by slowly. I was hoping maybe Elliot
would get with her. Then again, we were both 12 so, we had many years.
After school I waited for him, and he didn’t show. I thought maybe I was stood up again. After ten more minutes, Elliot showed up. His
manner surprised me.
“Well?”  I asked curiously, when he sat down.
“I couldn’t even talk to her. I was too nervous.”
“It happens, man. I am sure what you would have said would have been great.”
A smile crept across his lips. “You think?”
“Sure…Let me see…”
I read it a laughed. “Sorry, but ‘Roses are red, violets are blue…”
“What did you expect, man. I am only 12.”
“If you want, maybe I could help you with that.”
“Okay…you want to come over.”
“Your parents won’t mind.”
“Nah, come one. Corey. Besides, I have seen you around school, and you seem to be alone. Everybody deserves at least one friend.”
“Yeah, you are right.” I smiled, and we went to his place and chilled. I felt uncomfortable. Elliot had some many nice things. After a
week or two Elliot and I were just becoming better friends, that for a time I forgot about my family shit.
The story was written by Andy.   He loves doing so and appreciates all your feedback.

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