Written by my good friend, Andy.   IF YOU WANT TO CATCH UP:   PART 1PART 2PART 3

Posted:   May 29, 2011

“What do you mean you haven’t met him?” He glared at me. There is no mistake Kris looked so surprised by my statement. After a few seconds Kris said, “That’s going to change right now.”

I am not going to meet him. It’s not that I don’t want to meet Jacob but what if I meet him and don’t like what he has to say. What if I meet him and we don’t get along?

“You don’t want to mess up a good thing.” Kris read my mind. I just nodded. Kris did not say anything; he got a call from Melissa again and left to take the call. Kris needed to her and drove his ride home. I got a stare from him that meant that we were going to talk about meeting Jacob again.

By the time school resumed after the holidays, Kris was back to himself.  After we discussed Nathan in detail, he seemed to be able to hold center court like the he always could. He told me during our nightly phone calls that it turns out Melissa just wanted to talk and try to work on a new relationship. Not having met Melissa, but hearing of her made me believe that they are great together. Kris mentioned that she was like him in almost every way except the obvious physical parameters.  Kris told me that she had a messier room than him. I was well aware of Kris’s inability to maintain a clean room.  The last time I was there, I counted at least fifteen pairs of boxers on the floor. Why someone needs fifteen is beyond me.  Kris saw my disbelief showed me a picture of Melissa’s bedroom. I could not believe the mess. If there were furniture there, I couldn’t see it.

It was a week later, when I was chatting with Jacob online that he asked if I wanted to meet officially and have a date. I said no that I needed more time. I still haven’t told my mother I was gay. Sure, my mother might have assumed so when she caught me jerking off the some porn one time that completely embarrassed me to no end but wasn’t sure if she knew it was gay porn. I sure as hell wasn’t ready to flaunt it into public. Jacob wrote that it was all right and he understood before making an excuse to sign off.

That night, Kris came over and saw me a little down. I didn’t have the heart to tell him what was wrong. “I am worried about the history exam.” Kris did not buy it one bit. He came over to where I was sitting and stared at me.

“Tell me what happen. Did those bullies bug you at school?” I shook my head no. I can see it clicking in Kris’s head. “Jacob! I knew it is!” I nodded. I reluctantly told him about the date idea.

Kris looked he was going to scream. “Matt what is wrong with you? You do not want to meet him; you do not want to date him. Fuck! I would kill to get laid now.”  I almost cried at the bluntness of his words but he did not know the full story.

“You know not everything is about sex. I just don’t want to flaunt my gayness in public.” I can see Kris was not buying this excuse either. You would have thought at this point in our relationship it was easy to tell Kris my inner secrets.

Kris just shook his head. “When have you ever flaunted anything? You are just shy. You think life is on the computer. There is no outside world to you at this moment.  Shit, bro!”

I looked at him; he looked extremely disappointed in me. Yeah I was shy. Yeah, I spend my time on the computer or I worked on school stuff.  However, there was more to this that simple shyness. I could not tell him though. Talking about myself has always been hard. I hope that in time that will change but right now I couldn’t even face Kris.  Instead, I just got up, walked out of my own bedroom and left him standing there.  I did not want to be hurt again. 


Jacob sat at his computer and just signed off. He loved the way Matt wrote and that he was so hot by photos they had exchanged. Jacob would love to meet Matt. Screw it, Jacob wanted to have sex with that man. They had talked about everything. Whenever he wanted to meet, Matt seemed to be busy or making up excuses.

Getting off the computer, Jacob dressed for work.  He had a job at a local gay diner not five blocks from his home.  He exited the room and thought his tight work slacks showed off his best asset, his bubble ass.  As he entered the diner, he found his adoptive mother, Gail, on the counter with a coffee pot in her hand. Gail was the head server and had been for years.

“Good afternoon, sunshine,” she said, after pouring a cup of coffee to the customer. She nearly missed the guy’s hand. “Where the fuck have you been?”

“I’m not late,” Jacob said as he kissed his mother on the cheek.

“Are you and your friends going out cruising after work tonight?” she asked in her loud conversational voice, so the whole place could hear her.

He shot her a look, “I don’t know.”

“You really should, Jacob.  You haven’t had a date in four fucking months.  You can’t deny you need a good piece of ass.  I know you far too well now.”

“For your info, it’s been only two months.” Jacob was used to his mother discussing such topics in front of the customers and her bluntness.

“Your right hand doesn’t count either,” she and the cooks in the kitchen laughed.

“HA HA HA.” He put his shit away. He wasn’t mad at her, since she took him in after he was kicked out of his birth parents home at the age of fourteen.  He was told to leave when they found he was gay.  Gail knew Jacob from her frequent visits to the diner.  She knew once Jacob entered the door one Saturday afternoon something was wrong.  Jacob told everything to her.  Being single and gay herself, Gail took the fourteen year old into her home.  Now Jacob loved Gail more than ever but knew at times that she could be embarrassing.

Recently he had a promotion to waiter.  He loved his job and all the attention he gathered from the gays.  He knew the regulars well and gave them the best service.  He mostly enjoyed seeing the guys and girls, especially the hot older ones who innocently flirted with him. He had eyes for one man now and that was Matt. Cameron, an ex of Jacob’s, came in ordered his usual and left without even saying anything to Jacob. He just ordered his usual.

The shift was nearly over when he saw his mom with Sheila her best customer. 

“Tell me, Sheila.  Shouldn’t Jacob be out getting his cute ass laid?” Jacob was lucky that only a few patrons could hear this conversation.

“Please mom! It’s like you’re begging me to be a slutty whore boy,” he said while sweeping the hideous tile floor.

“No, I want you to enjoy a wonderful thing in life.  You are always so happy when you have a boyfriend.  Take that Cameron…”

“He was a dick!”

“I know you two didn’t just kiss.  I could hear your bed rattling at night,” she said.

“Damn, I really don’t wanna hear this,” said one of the cooks who was nearby.

“You guys shut up. You thought I did not know.  Even adoptive moms have that keen sense about them.”

“Let’s go mom, I’ll walk you home.” Jacob said.  They left and continued their fight about him getting a man. Jacob didn’t want to mention Matt yet.

When they got home, he was about to go up stairs when his adoptive mother “Hey, if you don’t mind, I need my dildo back… well on second thought you can keep it now,” she said.

Jacob shook his head but had enjoyed the dildo.  He took off his shirt and threw on his bed.  He logged on to his computer and hoped Matt would be on.  He was sorely disappointed not seeing Matt online.


It was hard leaving Kris there but I couldn’t stand there to talk to him about this. It is just hard to put myself out there. I did it before with the worst consequences. 

I screamed outside on my way to where ever I was going. “YES I AM SHY” There is more to this simple shyness. It is a feeling not being able to predict what will happen next. It’s putting myself out there.  At least, when I am talking to Jacob online, I am anybody and a different person while easily hiding behind the computer. It is easy to convey myself to another gay person but it was more than that.

“MATTHEW!!!”  I turned around and saw Kris running towards me. I gave him a look that pretty much said fuck off.  “What the fuck man? You just leave because I said you were shy”

“Seriously, leave me alone,” I said trying to get away from him. 

Kris grabbed me and spun me around. “Listen, what was all that shit earlier about us sticking together? You thought I was just saying that. Tell me what is wrong. What are you thinking?”

I thought it over and realized after everything that happened since I met Kris that he had the right to hear this story. We walked back to my house while Kris even took his cell phone and turned it off to give me his full attention.

“You know how I told you I was searching the net when I came out, for other gay sites. Last summer, I found someone named Daniel who recently came out and was a year older than me at the time. We talked about stuff, our lives and him coming out, and after two weeks of normal chitchat he asked to meet he and I said yes.”

Kris looked at me while I was sitting on my bed and spoke, “You said yes. The guy who claims to be extremely shy meets a total stranger.”  I put up my hand as to say there was more. Kris never knew I was not always shy.

“So, he actually lived close by. Maybe a 30-minute walk or so. I had to pick a day when Mom was working, so she would not get suspicious. Anyways, I went there one Friday. It was the worst day of my life.”

“I first got there he was very awkward towards me. He did not like how I dressed. So I tried to bring the conversation around to him, talk about his life and turned out he told me how he fucked two guys at once. This was definitely a mood killer. Kris, when you talked about loving Melissa’s pussy so much, you always lit up the room. Daniel did not. His mother came home and she asked Dan what the fuck is this piece of shit doing my house.  It was obvious that she was talking to me. Instead of defending me from this real loser of a mom, Daniel said I was nobody that he was about to ask to leave.”

Kris was getting mad just listening to the story. “I am going to kill him!” He was about to leave. I grabbed him and sat him down. Kris always had a temper. I had to choose my words ever so carefully.

“I don’t need you going after him, they moved away about three months ago. Anyways, the kicker is he said for me come back in three hours and I will show you a good time. I walked around a little and found a park to hang out at. I really think he just wanted me for my body. It’s sick but I was curious… you know… and really wanted to see if I was really gay.  However, I went back and experienced sex for the first time. I felt awful afterwards about it and still do.”

Kris looked shocked. “My first time with Melissa was the best day of my life. The way she made me feel so good. I’m sorry that the first time you made love wasn’t the best.”

I gave him a look of anger, “It wasn’t love. It was sex. No it wasn’t that it was just some fuck.”

Trying to lighten the mood, “Well, you do have a cute skinny body. Ever thought of a getting a piercing or tattoo?  I sure have.  I can’t wait to get my first one.  It’s gonna be so wicked, bro.” 

I shrugged off the comment and said, “I bet.  Well, since then, I have been in my shell.”

Kris shook his head, “I don’t believe my Matt was going to be meeting a stranger, only after two weeks. Were you always so out going?” Kris said sarcastically.

I gave my most honest reply. “The truth was I was fairly outgoing before the bullies learned my secret. My best friend at the time John and I were always trying new things to annoy the principal. They never worked. I had a seat in the principal’s office just for me. I mean we played some of the best pranks seen at the school. All that changed when Lee and Andy learned my secret. The first thing they did was tell John and our three friends. They immediately turned on me. John practically alienated me. He was calling me a fucking queer and how he can’t believe he ever was friends with me. As word spread, I lost every friend I had and felt so lost and lonely in my own world.” 

Kris was speechless as he hugged me. “I know it’s hard but we can get you through this once and for all. I really think you and Jacob would be great for each other.”

I wasn’t finished so I lowered the boom, “It turns out Daniel and Andy are cousins. I only learned about this a few weeks ago.” I looked at Kris; he must think how I could not have seen this. But all he did was give me a comforting smile.

“It’s alright, I am here. I am not going anywhere.” It was great to have him here.

Three weeks went by as Kris and Matt’s friendship grew stronger. Kris was making sure he was never alone or tried his best. His next mission was to get at those bullies.

The next Friday came around at school. Matt went to go to my locker to get the books he needed and spotted Kris out of the corner of his eye.  A few minutes later, Lee and Andy showed up. “Hey faggot!” called Andy.

Matt turned around and frowned. Lee grabbed him from behind and pushed him into the locker. It was killing Kris not to step in but his plan needed to work.  He had Tanner video tape the incident, and Johnny was going to show it to the principal. The old guy never would believe them without evidence.

So after three more hard shoves into a locker, Kris came and ran to him. Tanner turned off the camera with Johnny coming to Matt’s side also.  Johnny helped Matt up as Kris punched Lee in the face knocking him to the ground. Tanner kicked Andy into the groan who screamed like hell. “NEVER TOUCH MY FRIEND AGAIN!” Kris yelled at the bullies.

Andy got up and tried to show no pain, “Who is going to stop us, you fairy loving freak boy? I bet you and the fruit fuck every night.”

Kris smiled looking straight at Matt and punched Andy in the gut for saying such a thing. “Johnny, get the principal.”

Lee now standing said, “What are you going to do boy, tell on us? Why are you protecting this faggot?” 

Tanner and Kris said together, “This faggot is our friend!”

Matt had tears at the sentiment and the pain, “Kris… you made your point. Let’s go.”

Kris just smiled at Matt and helped him out of the school smiling as if he just got laid. “They will be gone for good Matt. You see Tanner will put the video of them on YouTube and send it to their parents and to the police. I would like to see them get out of this one.”

He hugged Kris, “Thanks! I appreciate this.”  We walked back to his place. Tanner went to check on the celebration party at Kris’s house.

Kris opened the front door with a bang; Linda dropped a glass at the sound. Kris ran to her, apologized and helped clean up the mess. Matt walked into the kitchen and sat down, “You won’t clean up your own room, but you will help my mother with a glass she broke.”

“Shut up! Matt. I did this because I am a gentleman.”

Matt shook my head, chuckled and brushed my bangs from his face, “You are the biggest brown noser around.”

“No, I am not,” Kris stated and then broke off a smile.

Linda chimed in without missing a beat, “You did this to get one of my homemade chocolate chip cookies.”

Kris just smiled, “Yes Ma’am.”  We shared cookies, milk, while Kris embellished the bully story a lot Matt’s mother. We headed upstairs so Matt could change for the party at Kris’s place.

While he was changing, Kris went on Matt’s computer, checked the gay chat line, and saw Jacob typing a conversation to him. “Yo, when you going to meet Jacob?”

He dropped the shirt he was going to wear on the floor, “Kris, when are you going to stop harking about this? I am not ready for my heart to be broken again.”

“What would have happened if we never became friends? You would be sitting on the computer just talking, emailing and texting, never using those social skills I know you have. Johnny says so; Brady says so. They all love you. Well… not Kevin. You need to find someone you can relate with. I have never been with a man and I hope never to be with a man. I can’t relate to certain things that he could.”

“I know but it’s so hard for me. What if Jacob wants me for my… hung dick?”

“Did he say that? Does he know how big it is?”

“Well it came up once. I just don’t want another Daniel to happen.”

“Then don’t just go out there and have fun. Stay in control.”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. You are smarter than me. Listen to me. It took my brother dying to get me to change my ways and live my life. Do you really want something drastic to happen before you change?”

“No,” Matt said and was just about ready and headed for the door when Kris came over and gave me a little box in his pocket.

“I was going to give you this after the party but I think this will give you the motivation to meet Jacob.”

He took the box and opened, it was necklace with the N on it that Kris normally wears. “I can’t take this.”

“Yes, you can when I feel down and wanting to go to my anti-social ways he kept me going, like I know he will be for you.”  Matt kissed him squarely on the lips and did it without much thought.  It was a natural reaction of appreciation.

Kris wiped his mouth and said he has to clean his mouth out with soap. He left to take a piss and came back to see Matt talking to Jacob. Kris read over his shoulder that Matt will meet him 1pm at Sunday at this house.

Kris padded him on the back, “That’s my man.”

We were jest about to go.  He spoke up, “One more thing this means from this moment on we are more than friends. We are like family. We are like brothers. I love you just like a brother and will be there every minute if you ever need me.”

Not without missing a beat, Kris said. “I love you that much more… you know as a brother. I will be there too.”  Kris opened up his board, pulled out his Swiss army knife, and pricked his finger with it, and Matt’s finger and they put both together.

“This is a pact to be brothers forever and be there for thick and thin.”

Matt decided to put his gay touch on it and kiss their two fingers.  We both started laughing at this childish non-sense but somehow it worked for them.

“Now let’s go party,” Kris said.