Written by Andy.. Posted:  Sept 4, 2011


I woke up during the second week of school as happy as can be. I had a girlfriend, a great sex life and a best friend in Matt who I loved dearly but only as friend. I walked to school with Matt.

“What’s wrong, bro?” I asked a nervous looking Matt.

“Nothing, I’m just worried about not getting my scholarship.”

“Why? You’re the smartest guy I know.”

“Smarter than you?”  Matt teased.

Thinking about it I thought of course he was smarter than me. “Hell no.”

“Then what is seven hundred and seventy five minus seven hundred and seventy four. “

“One obviously,” I said laughing at him.

By the time we got to school, I was informing Matt about my plans for Alison on our date night. I told Matt I would attempt to cook. I guess the thought of me cooking brought a smile to his face. By the time we got to class, he couldn’t stop laughing.

The school day was uneventful. When I got home I looked at the kitchen, it was intimidating, and so I decided to take Alison out instead. There was this nice Chinese restaurant that always served great food. I called Alison and told her the plan. She seemed excited.

I was at the table a good thirty minutes, surprised by how early I was. Then it hit me why I loved this place so much, Melissa brought me here many times. This was the restaurant where Melissa broke up with me. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all.

That’s when I saw her in walk in to the restaurant. She still looked beautiful. She looked so sexy. She came in, saw me and sat down in front me.

“Hey Kris, I never thought I’d see you in this restaurant again.”

I didn’t know what to say, my ex-girlfriend just sat next to me and started talking to me. “Um, Hi, Melissa. You look really well. Time has been good to you.” I tried to say smoothly; however, it was obvious this situation caught me off guard.

“Thanks. What are you doing here? I’m meeting my boyfriend Jack here.” 

“I’m actually meeting someone….”

“Matt?” She said jokingly.

“No, Alison, she’s been a great help to me after we broke up.”  I just thought of something. “Your boyfriend, his last name isn’t Harder?”

“No, why?”

“Well Matt’s new boyfriend is named Jack Harder.”

“You never change. You’re still boring me with stuff about Matt.”

“Hey, you’re talking about my best friend.”  I said getting angry, but holding my temper.

“Relax Kris, I was just joking. I just wanted to say you still look sexy.” She got up and put her hand on my groin and whisper in my ear. Then she kissed me lightly on the lips and walked off the see Jack.

“KRISTOPHER JOSHUA STANTON” I heard someone screaming across the restaurant. I wanted to hide.

“Oh fuck.” I whispered to myself. “What did I do now?” She came and sat across from me. “You definitely know how to make an entrance.” 

“WHAT WERE YOU DOING KISSING MELISSA?”  She said rather loudly.

“She kissed me. I was sitting here and she came and sat down.”

“I see… What the fuck were you doing here early?  You’re normally running late from some emergency.”

I really didn’t know what to say, she was right. I knew exactly how this looked. She had every right to be mad at me.

“Kris, honey, relax. I know what happened I saw the whole thing from the front door. I always wanted to do that, you know, the angry jealous woman routine?”

“You scared the shit out of me! Let’s order.”

After a great meal, we went to my car for a quick make out session. It was great, while our lips met and our tongues battled each other, mine always being the more dominant, our hands moved over each others body, mine cupping her firm boobs with hers rubbing my growing muscles, including the one between my legs.

“Have you thought about your college career yet?”

“Yeah, I think I’m going to Cal, MIT or Stanford.”

“Aw, I thought you’d join me and Matt at the college my father is forcing me to go to.”

“Do you really see you and Matt going to same college?”

“Of course, we’re bros. We’ll be together forever.”

“I thought that’s what you’d think about me!”

I didn’t know where this anger was coming from.

“Kristopher, not all friendships last. You and Matt are annoying together. I understand the bond you guys share. You told him about Nathan after all.”

“DO NOT MENTION HIM.”  I said angrily, feeling my temperature rise.


“I have no brother,” I said, “and if you must know, Matt forced me to have that conversation with him!”

“Did you feel better afterwards?”

“YES!! Why are we still talking about this?”

“If I didn’t know about Nathan would you have told me about him?”


“FUCK YOU!  Listen Kris, I helped you get your sanity back after Melissa dumped you, and I helped with the alcohol. We made love with true meaning at least three times. I trusted you some of my deepest secrets. And you wouldn’t have mentioned Nathan to me?!”


“YOU TOLD MATT!!! You don’t see that you and Matt are best friends and have a great bond, and most likely you will be friends for ever.  You tell him your secrets.”

“Yeah, I trust the guy with my life, he saved my ass the day I met him. He has more good in just his heart than most people do in their entire body. He’s going to keep me sane and on track during my stint at college. I told him about Nathan because of three things. 1, I trust him. 2, he practically forced me to tell him. 3, I needed to tell someone to relieve some of the pressure from bottling it up.”

“Let me ask you, would you trust Matt with your body? Would you ever have sex with him? Be completely honest with me.”

“If I’m being totally honest, yes, I probably would.”


With that she left me, she got out of my car and out of my life. I didn’t know what else to do so I went to Matt’s. I walked into the house and opened his bedroom door with a bang.

“Jesus Kris. Some privacy would be nice.”  I saw Matt on his bed naked, enjoying himself.  “Go ahead I’ll wait for you to finish.” Matt looked down at his dick, it was limp.

“Forget it, what’s so important?” Matt grabbed a pair of boxers out of his dresser. I didn’t know how to begin.

“Kris, spit it out.”

I needed some time so I got to my boxers, and went onto my side of the bed. “Alison and I had a fight.”


“You, actually.”

“What did I do?” Matt looked surprised that he would even be in the conversation.

“I told her that me and you are going to college together.” I couldn’t bring up Nathan, so I left it there.

“What makes you think we’re going to college together?”

I looked at him shocked. “Of course, we are I have to go to school in state. And you are going to be by my side.”

Matt looked down. “Kris, bro. I’m going to college outside state. I was thinking about California or even Oxford in England. I want to experience the world, and meet some new people and gain a better insight into the rest of America or abroad. I can’t do that here.”

“WHAT?!” I got up and paced the room. “You’re not coming with me to college? I thought I could count on you.”

“You can, they have phones, there’s email and I’m sure we have time off to spend together.”

“You’re joking?! I really thought you cared about me. And you are leaving me?”

“I’m not leaving you, Kris. I don’t even know if I’m being accepted anywhere yet. My scholarship will help me, I know.”

“Fuck that! I really thought, we would be experience college together and you’re moving to England to be with those people with bad teeth?”

“I can’t stay here, Kris. Sure I’ll miss you and Mom a lot. But… I want to experience what this world is all about.”

“So go read a book.”

“What’s wrong with you Kris? I love you. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and I thought you would fucking understand that I need to do things for myself.”

“Whatever. I’m going to bed.”   I got back on my side of the bed and went to turn out the light when I noticed Matt staring at me. I looked back at him.

“You do know you’re in my house, my room and my bed?”

“I’m too lazy to go back home.” With that I turned off the light, and Matt came over, whispering in my ear, “You’re my brother. I will never ever forget that.” He kissed me on the lips and lay down with his head on my chest as we went to sleep.


Derek's POV

The school semester was starting and I kept thinking back to that night in hospital, the night Nathan died. Kris was so hurt and instead of doing what was in my gut I walked out of his life and ran away like the idiot I was.  Who does that?

Derek does that. A fucking stupid coward does that.  I finally got back to my hometown after I decided to go home. I went to my old apartment and of course after almost five years of being away somebody else was living there.
Knowing my family was gone, I had nowhere else to turn for support. Then I remembered, James, my best friend, and one of Nathan’s good friends. He would let me crash it his place. I went over to his house.  I knocked on the door. Nobody was there. I was about to walk away when I heard some talking in the backyard and walked around to see James speaking on the phone.

I knocked on the gate to the back yard; he saw me and hung up the phone, running towards me. He made a fist and punched me in the face “What the fuck, James?”
“Get up you good for nothing son of a bitch! I thought you were dead. You disappeared 4 years, 9 months and 9 days ago. No fucking note. No contact in five fucking years. And now you come back and say to me, your best friend of almost 20 fucking years, ‘What the fuck?’”

“James, I’m sorry. I thought you would have understood I needed some time alone after Nathan’s car accident.”
“You needed 5 years alone?” James asked. I could tell he was furious. “What I cannot fucking believe is how you treated Kris!”

I got up and sat in one of his patio chairs. “What are you talking about? He hit me and told me to leave, so I left.”

“He was thirteen, you prick! If you lost your brother at 13 wouldn’t you tell people to leave you alone?”

“I DID YOU FUCKING LOSER!!  Jason was 12 years old when he started doing drugs, ever since then he joined gangs and got arrested. He was never the same again. I lost my mother four years later to cancer. She was one of the few people ever to love me. Then I was left in care of Jason. I knew I had to leave. So I worked my fucking ass off. I got that apartment and finally became a respectable tutor for high school students….”

“JESUS! I know your fucking life story. I was there when it happened. What I don’t get is why you didn’t come back to Kris when you knew he needed some support.”

“I killed his brother!!!”

“No, you didn’t! By you fucking leaving you killed Kris.”

“What the hell are you talking about now?”

James walked over to me and sat next to me.  “Dumbass, he had nobody to turn to. His parents were a fucking wreck. He was all alone in the world. You know as much as I do that he looked up to Nathan.”

Not wanting to know any more I got up at tried to leave. “SIT YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN!!”

I sat back down, “You came back, so now you’ve got to listen to my story. When you left, I wasn’t surprised, I know you needed time alone, Derek. But, when you didn’t show up to Nathan’s funeral, I was worried. If you saw Kris at the funeral, it would have hurt you like it did me. He couldn’t even look at the coffin, he just stared up into space.

“Where were you? I went to your apartment and you weren’t there. I noticed your car was still there, so I went to police. There were no reports identifying you. I knew you’d eventually come back. I was so worried for Kris, five days in a row I watched over him from a far. The routine was bad. He’d get up and go to school, at lunch he went to the library and cried in one of the private rooms.  Sometimes he would write his thoughts down on the blackboard, sometimes he would speak out load.  Then went home and went to bed, with a beer in each hand.”

“How do you know this?” I said.

“SHUT UP!!  I know this because I was watching over him since you became fucking coward and left. I thought it was my duty to keep an eye on him. After a month, I knew you weren’t coming back anytime soon.  Then after three months of grief and mourning, Kris finally left his house and decided to be happy. He went to gym the once or twice a week and started opening up to friends.

“The moment I stopped worrying about him was when he met some kid named Tanner and they hit it off. He became the life of the party and soon after that he had his own crew. Then, when he entered high school, he met a kid named Matt and developed a brotherly friendship. They have never been apart since.”

Okay, this had been a mistake. I should go back to Samuel. Why would I think I could help Kris now? He probably blames me for all of this still.

“Yeah, James I am. I didn’t know that I caused so much grief but I know I fucked up, so back the fuck off.”  I got up again. James pushed me down.

“BACK OFF?!  WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!  You disappeared and now you have the fucking nerve to tell me to back off?”

I looked at James, “What does my leaving have anything to do with this?”
“When did you ever become so fucking stupid? If you stayed Kris would have been able to heal himself a lot faster. After two years, Jason, your own brother, who fixed himself and got better came back to find you. He drove all over Texas looking for his twin brother. Jason found your fucking father for Christ sake and they both reconnected.  July 4th last year, they both came back empty handed.

“The three of us came to the conclusion that you must have died somewhere. YOU DIED SOMEWHERE! They held a private ceremony in this very backyard.”
This was too much for me to handle, I started to cry. One simple mistake can have all these repercussions. I remembered how Samuel felt when I left him. But my own fucking family reconnected and tried to find me.  Barely above a whisper, I spoke, “Where are they now?”

“Your father and brother boarded a bus and moved away. I said I’d let them know if I ever saw you again. Then about nine months ago your father was killed in mugging and your brother couldn’t handle it alone so he killed himself. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!”

I sat there, curled up in the fetal position and cried. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I babbled.

James came over to me and took me inside. He gave me some tea and I looked into his eyes to see that the anger was gone. All that was left was deep sadness. “I am so sorry, James.”

In a calm and caring tone, James asked where I had been so I told him every detail.  Then after the story, James, my best friend, said, “Stay with me and we’ll get through this together.”   He kissed me on the head and have me a very comforting hug


As September was ending things were not looking great. Four days in a row Kris had been bugging me to spend some time with him. With school and Jack it was hard to spend some time with the crew. Kris had been neglected. 

If I didn’t spend some time studying I wouldn’t have been able to keep up with everything. Kris was enjoying life and trying to spend time with his crew. Lately, after Alison broke up with him, he had been ‘studying’ with me.

On the first night of October, while studying with Kris, after an hour he started complaining.

“Matt, I think we’ve done enough.”  I knew Kris so well, once he stops working, he will never start again. And the last few nights it always started the same.

“Kris, what are Brady and Don doing tonight? Why don’t you join them?”

Kris called them both. He was very antsy, a little more than usual.

“Brady is spending some time with his girlfriend and Kevin is working tonight. Don’s having a night out with his dad.”  I was getting a little frustrated. I was trying to study hard for a test and Kris was trying my patients a little.

I don’t know lately, we have been arguing a lot. Ever since I told I wanted to study abroad, he had been in a pissy mood. Then Alison dumped him and he had been hanging with me almost every night. I told him many times, during the week, that I like studying and the weekend was when I spend time with the crew, leaving Friday and Monday as my time with Jack.

“If you don’t want to study, go and watch some TV?” 

“I don’t know but do you have anything to eat?”

“I think my mom made some cookies. Please, Kris, let me study. I want to do well.”

“Matty, you are going to ace this test. You know it.”

“That is so not true.” I said.

“Fine, whatever; I’m going home.” He walked out of my room and left the house.  I studied for a few more hours and was about to call Kris when Jack phoned me.

“Hello, Jack” I said in my happiest voice.

“Don’t ‘hello Jack’ me. You two timing little twit!” It was obvious he was mad.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t believe you and Kris had a thing behind my fucking back. I knew you and Kris had a special relationship, but you slept with him?”

“WHAT?! I would never do that.” I was shocked by the thought of it.

“Explain this email I received from Kris to you, except that it was sent to me by mistake.”

“‘Hey Matty.  I just wanted to thank you for last week. We had the best time on Saturday. After my breakup with Alison, I needed some fun and boy the sex with you was so awesome. Anyways, Love you, Kris.’”

“What the fuck is that?”

“The email he sent you.”

“Jack, I would never cheat on you, especially with Kris. This is some kind of practical joke. It has to be.”

“Fuck off Matt. I know you like Kris. I just didn’t think you would go that far. Never speak to me again. You dumb piece of shit.”

“No, let me explain Jack…”

“FUCK OFF!” He hung up the phone.

I had to make this right. I got up and went to his house. I banged at the front door and the climbed a tree to get his attention at his bedroom window. He gave me the finger and walked out of his room.

I drove home totally rejected. All my thoughts were about Kris. Why would he ruin things for me? I didn’t do anything to him, but be a caring and helpful friend.

I decided to cool off, but the next day after school I got into Kris’s car and he seemed stoked about something. He came up to my bedroom and landed his body on my bed.

“I got some bad news, Kris. Jack dumped me. It’s all because of you and your sick jokes!”

“What did I do now?”

“Fuck off Kris! You know exactly what you did! You fucking told Jack that we were lovers. You fucking prick!” I let the anger flow.

“Yeah, so now you know how it feels to lose one you love!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I lost Alison because of you. You were so needy, you kept needing me to come to you aid. You always had some issue and I dropped everything to help you out. Just like I did with Melissa.  Alison thinks the two of us should get married because of all the time I spend with you.”

“I’m sorry that you’re my best friend and I want to share my concerns and problems with you. At least I didn’t deliberately sabotage your friendship with Alison like you did with mine.”

“Fuck you Matt. It was a joke. I thought he would get kick out of it.”

“He did! He kicked me out of the relationship!”

“Okay, so will go find another guy to fuck.”

“Jesus, Kris, it isn’t about the fucking sex. It’s about respecting people and understanding people. I don’t need to have sex all the time. LIKE YOU. Just because you’re not getting any doesn’t mean you should ruin other people’s fun.”

“What fun?! You never do anything fun.”


“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH SOME FUN?!”  Kris was getting angry now, which didn’t bug me one bit.

“NOTHING! NATHAN WOULD BE PROUD OF THE FUN YOU’RE HAVING!!” The comment left my mouth without thinking.

“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF DIRTY SHIT!” He was so close to hitting me, but I knew he’d never do it.

“I helped you, I tried to be your fucking friend, and this is the thanks I get? I’M NOT GETTING A FREE RIDE TO ANY SCHOOL IN THE WORLD.”

“DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A FREE RIDE IS? YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT A THESPIAN IS! FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU FUCKING BITCHING MOTHER FUCKER my mother doesn’t make a lot of money, she can afford the tuition, so unlike you, I have to work my fucking ass off to make sure I get a fucking education.”

Kris screamed back, “JUST SO YOU CAN LEAVE ME HERE?”

I retorted. “YES! ESPECIALLY AFTER THAT STUNT!  I tried to be there for you. I tried to help you! BUT YOU NEED TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU ARE!!”



“DON’T YOU DARE MENTION NATHAN!” He came up to me, stopping just inches in front of me and slapped me so hard in the face that I fell to the ground and my head hit the desk chair.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU HIT ME!” I screamed; the tears were flowing now. “GET OUT!”

“I’m going! Lose my number! I never want to hear from you again!”

I don’t know what made me do it but I grabbed the first thing I could find, a stapler, and chucked it at his head. It missed.


He turned around and walked back to me. He punched hard me in face and kneed me in the groin. I just sat in the fetal position, on hand holding my jaw, the other clutching my groin. “Fuck off Kris! You are no brother of mine! I hope you end up like Nathan!”

When I got up, Kris was gone and on the door was the message I am sure will be in my mind forever. “STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE. YOU FRUIT.”


Thanks again to Andy for taking his time to write this mini-series based on how he sees things before Matt & Kris roomed together in college.   You can email him at: or comment below as always.  I'm know he'd love to hear from you.