A NEW JOURNEY 25
Posted: Nov 13, 2013... PDF
At PJ’s, we bid Logan and Jimmy a good night and watched them drive away. None of us had drunk that much at
the casino so Logan was able to drive safely back to their place with a promise to return for a nice day by
Entering through the garage, PJ and I were holding hands. He stopped in the center of his kitchen and
released my hand. “Jason, your hand is shaking.”
“Ummm… a little,” I said.
He put his arm around me and walked with me to his bedroom. We sat down on his bed. “You’re nervous or scared
about tonight?” he asked.
“Both. I know we got tested and received the info, but despite all of that I’m scared shitless, PJ.”
He leaned over and kissed me. “I’ll be ready when you’re ready. You just let me know and we’ll bareback.
You’ve showed me that a relationship is a two way street. Just like moving in with me, I can’t or won’t try
to force you to do things you’re not up for. Sex is still fucking hot with you with a condom and it will
With those sincere words, it struck me that I had found the right guy for me at this moment in my life. I
pulled him to me and kissed him with great passion. I broke the kiss and sighed. “PJ, I love you very much.”
“I love you too Jason.”
I woke the next morning with the sun trying to shine through the small crack in his blinds. PJ and I had
enjoyed the hottest night ever without engaging in sex. We were all over each other and were naked but never
let it progress despite two raging hard ons. I guess we did have some sex, but we just jacked each other off
while kissing. My arm went around his shoulder. His eyes opened. He smiled at me before I leaned over and
“Good morning,” I said.
“Good morning to you.”
I cleared my throat. “Thanks again.”
“It’s not needed. I loved last night just as much if not more than fucking. You proved to me there can be
more ways to show your love than having full on sex.”
“I have to confess something… I did love you a lot before you said what you did last night to me, but with
those kind words of understanding and compassion my love grew stronger for you and showed me that I was with
the right person.”
“So you thought maybe I wasn’t?” PJ asked, looking at me confused.
“You just don’t know, even after two months. Yes, things were great, but things can happen. You proved to me
that you’re not in this for PJ but for both of us. I’ve been in relationships where it was a tug-o-war to see
who could impose their will on the other.”
“I was just speaking from my heart and saw you weren’t ready to go that far just yet. I’m glad you did say
something because I was apprehensive about barebacking too. We both know it will be special when that time
We lay together with his head on my chest. I loved stroking his growing blond hair and petting his face and
arms. He petted my torso and arms as well to show a very gentle, soft touch.
“Jason, would you care to go for a little bike ride this morning?” he asked.
“I would love it,” I replied.
“Perfect then,” he said.
We rose from his bed and dressed. He had an extra bike for me since his bike was almost brand new. With
water, we headed out with PJ leading the way. We rode around his neighborhood to see a few homes for sale
before taking a street out of it. He led us to a park where we could ride as well as take a rest and a water
break. We took off our shirts that were soaked with sweat and headed back to his house.
Just as we pulled into his drive, a lady came walking diagonally across the street. She asked us to stop. I
looked at PJ and he looked at me.
The lady had short dark hair with a few extra pounds showing on her face. “I’m sorry to bother you guys but I
was wondering if I could ask you a question,” she said. “I’m Janie McGill by the way.”
“I’m PJ Dawson and he’s Jason Massey. Is there a problem, ma’am?”
She inhaled, “No problem at all. I know… well… I was wondering if two were gay?”
I cut my eyes at PJ before answering, “We are.”
“Oh thank God!” she said and acted relieved. “I had noticed you two coming and going together. I finally
caught you so I could have a word with you. You see guys, my son just came out this spring. I desperately
need some help with him.”
“Okay,” PJ said while I was wondering what her intentions were.
“Clint just graduated from high school and has been struggling with the fact he is gay. One of his friends he
trusted told all his friend he was. It has been hell for him. All those friends just deserted him except one
girl, Haley. I didn’t know for a while until I kept noticing how much he had changed. He told me he was gay.
I thought that would solve some of his problems. It hasn’t. He used to be a very bright young man who was
always happy. Now he’s withdrawn and bitter,” she said.
“That happens sometimes,” I said.
“I’m worried sick he’ll do…” she paused and caught her breath. “He needs to see that it’s not the end of
world. You guys seem to do just fine by the number of cars I see over here. I was wondering if you minded
maybe hanging out with him and setting an example?”
“Well…” PJ replied and looked at me. “We are a little older but I don’t guess it could hurt to try.”
“Oh thank you so very much,” Janie said. “So you don’t mind?”
“No, we’re not perfect by any means,” I chuckled.
“No one is perfect, including Clint, who has a mouth now like never before. Oh I just hope this works. I
don’t know what else I can do. I’m a single mom and want my boy back. If I sound desperate, I am,” she said.
“I’ll send Clint over in a little while. I’m sure you’ll want to shower.”
“Okay. Tell him we may be at the pool. He can go swimming if he wants,” PJ said.
“Alright, he might enjoy that,” Janie said. “I’d give you a hug, but…”
“We understand,” I said. “We’ll look forward to meeting Clint.”
She shook our hands and walked briskly back across the street.
“She was desperate,” PJ said.
“I could tell. I suppose we’ll keep our swimsuits on today,” I said.
“Yeah, we’ll need to tell Jimmy and Logan that too before they get here,” PJ said while we put away the
After we showered, we ate a little something and waited to meet Clint. I called Jimmy to inform of the
situation. He said it wouldn’t be a problem.
PJ and I waited and waited until we heard a soft knock at the door. PJ jumped up and said he’d get it. He
opened the door while I looked over my shoulder to get a look at Clint. He stepped in shyly. He had dark,
long hair combed to his face and looked a little emoish. He was wearing a gray tank top that showed off his
skinny arms and detectible collarbone. His board shorts hung to the knees of his maybe 5’8” frame.
“Come on in and grab a seat,” PJ said.
“Okay,” Clint said quietly.
I stood and extended my hand. “I’m Jason.”
“I’m PJ. I’m really your neighbor. Jason just stays with me sometimes,” PJ said.
“Alright,” Clint said and took a seat.
“So what’s up with you?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Clint replied.
“You don’t have to be shy,” PJ stated and sat next to me. “Your mom told us a little about you.”
“She likes to talk,” Clint said and pushed some hair from his face.
“I know what you’re going through. We’ve both been through it. It’s not easy being gay, especially in high
school. I didn’t come out until college but it still wasn’t an easy thing to admit…” I said.
“I came out in high school. Boy, it was tough as hell. Clint, I did a lot of shit once I did come out to fit
in so I know what you’re going through. It took me bottoming out to get set straight. I’m 25 years old and
just now figuring things out,” PJ said.
“What do you like to do?” I asked.
He shrugged his boney shoulders, “Not much now.”
“Surely you like something?” PJ said.
“Guys, maybe I should just go back home and not waste your time,” Clint said.
“Do what you want, but you’re not wasting our time,” I said. “We’d love to help you and show you that things
aren’t as bad as they seem. If you’ve got something on your mind or just wanna vent, go right ahead. Nothing
you say will shock us.”
We sat there but I could see Clint’s brain clicking. He cleared his throat. “Can I have some water?”
“Sure, you can,” PJ replied and got up to get him some. PJ returned quickly and handed me and Clint some
water. Clint opened the bottle and took a big drink.
“Nobody fucking likes me. Everyone hates me. One of my best friends keyed my ride and put FAG on my door,”
Clint said. “Every day at school, I couldn’t walk the hall without someone calling me a faggot, queer or
fudge packer. Even some of the girls did it. I wanted to fight back but I knew I’d get my ass kicked. I just
wanna fucking die. I hate this goddamn world and everyone in it!!” Tears started forming in his eyes.
“I feel your pain,” PJ said and went over to hug him.
I walked over and joined the hug. “Please don’t say you wanna die.”
“I fucking do!” Clint screamed with tears running down his face.
“Clint, it’s not that bad. Trust me. I’m just across the street. Any time, day or night, my door will be open
for you,” PJ said.
“What can I do? I hate myself,” Clint cried.
“Why do you hate yourself?” I asked while holding him.
“I’m fucking gay!” Clint replied. “No one likes a faggot.”
“Stop talking like that, Clint,” PJ said.
“Clint, I want you to keep venting. Get out every ounce of frustration you have built up in this body,” I
said and pointed to his chest.
“I just feel so alone and like no one will ever love me. I only have two people I can trust, my mom and my
friend Haley. Other than that, I’m nothing. Any time I go somewhere people stare a hole through me. All I
fucking do is sit in my room. I’m either on the internet or staring at the ceiling wondering when this
nightmare is going to end,” Clint said, but in a calmer tone while he stopped to take a drink.
PJ and I moved aside to give him space. “Feel better now?” I asked.
“A little, but I’m sure you two hate me just like everyone else,” Clint replied.
“I don’t. You had this hurt and anger in you and you let it out,” I replied.
“I don’t either,” PJ said. “Continue if you want.”
“Ummm… there’s not much else to say,” Clint said.
“Okay, now tell us what you like to do, or used to like to do?” I asked and moved to sit down.
“I do like to draw…” Clint replied.
“Bingo!” I shouted. “PJ is one hell of an artist too. You should see some of his paintings.”
“Follow me and I’ll show you,” PJ said and stood. “Jason hasn’t seen some of my latest work.”
We stood, with PJ showing us the way. I put my arm around him, “Things will get better. Just trust me,” I
said to him.
“They can’t get any worse,” Clint said.
PJ walked into the spare bedroom with an easel set up. I took a glimpse and saw the beginnings of a painting
he was doing of the pictures he took of me a little while back. “Do you know this guy?” PJ asked Clint.
“Well… it kind of looks like him,” Clint replied and pointed at me.
“It is,” PJ said and picked up the photo sitting near the easel. “He modeled for me. What do you think?”
Clint looked at me and held up the picture next to me, “He’s hot.”
“Tell me about it,” PJ said.
“Ah thanks,” I said. “Clint, just look at all this work he’s done.”
“I can see. You’re good,” Clint said. “I wish I had this kind of talent.”
“I’m sure you do,” PJ said. “I’d like to see yours one day. Maybe we can paint or draw together sometime?”
“Mine is just of crazy shit,” Clint said and managed a smile. “I’d like to do that sometime.”
“You guys need to do that since you’re just across the street,” I said.
Clint walked around and picked up some of PJ’s fine art work. He picked up one piece that was sort of
abstract, of two men lying naked on a bed holding each other. “This is cool. I’m sure this is one of you two
after you fuck.”
“I did it before I met Jason,” PJ said.
He sat it down and quickly left the room. PJ and I followed him out and saw him sitting on the couch with his
head in his hands. “Are you okay?” I asked sitting on one side of him.
He looked up at me with his big green eyes. “I want to feel like that one day.”
“I’m sure you will,” PJ said on his other side. “You look hurt.”
“I am,” Clint said. “Basically I got with a good friend of mine one night. He lied to me and said he was
curious about how guys sucked dick. I had always had a crush on him so I said I’d try and told him I thought
I was gay. He said he wouldn’t tell anyone cause it’d make him look bad. Well, I sucked his dick and then let
him fuck me. The next morning he woke up and threw me out of his house. Then he told everyone I was a
“I feel for you. Why didn’t you tell everyone he was just as guilty?” I asked.
“I tried to but no one would listen. There were rumors before that I was gay but now it was the truth,” Clint
replied. “The shame of it was I thought he’d come out and tell me he was gay too.”
“Maybe he was in denial. His day might come one day,” PJ said.
“I hope it does,” Clint said. “I’m tired of you guys listening to my crazy ass shit. I think I’m ready to hit
I smiled, “That sounds like a winner to me.”
PJ and I stood and lost our shorts and shirts. We had on our bikinis underneath. Clint threw off his shirt
and was staring at us. As expected, he was skin and bones with his ribs showing.
“Hot!” Clint said, pointing at our bikini swimwear. “I need to get me one of those.”
“I have an extra pair if you wanna wear one,” PJ stated.
“Okay, but will they fit my skinny ass?” Clint asked.
“They have drawstrings,” PJ replied with a knock at the door.
“You go get him set while I welcome in our visitors,” I said. They headed to PJ’s bedroom while I went to
open the door. It was Jimmy, Logan, Aiden and Casey.
“How’s it going?” Jimmy asked.
“Okay I guess,” I replied.
“So did that guy come over?” Jimmy asked.
“He’s changing right now. It was rough there for a while. I’ll tell ya about it later,” I replied.
“Is he cute?” Aiden asked.
“You’ll see,” I replied. “He’s fucking skinny like you and Wes.”
“Sorry I’m not bowed up like you,” Aiden joked.
“You guys better try to be nice to him,” I said.
“We will,” Casey said with a 24 pack in his hand.
PJ found us and greeted everyone. Then his bedroom door opened. Clint came out in his bikini and looked
“Damn!” Aiden said. “This fucking boy is hot!”
Clint smiled as big as ever and held out his arms, “Thanks, dude. I love how it makes my wang look big.”
We laughed. “Are you 10 years old or what?” Jimmy asked.
“Okay, it makes my dick look fucking huge. How’s that?” Clint said and laughed.
“Better,” Casey laughed. “I’m gonna have to keep my eye on Aiden for sure tonight.”
“You will,” Aiden said before they proceeded to introduce themselves to Clint. Slowly, what I imagined was
the real Clint was beginning to surface.
“Man, you dudes are nice. You’re all gay, right?” Clint asked.
“Every one of us is just like you. We like guys,” I replied.
“Awesome,” Clint said. “Last one in has to suck my dick.”
“You wish,” Logan said.
“I wish,” Aiden said before we raced out the door and jumped in the pool with the four taking off their
shorts in the process. Aiden waited and jumped in last. “Do I get the honor?” he asked once he came up. Casey
dunked him back under.
It took a few minutes before Casey and Aiden had noticed the pool house was finished. In the meantime we took
turns messing with Clint and trying to make him feel like one of us despite the small age difference.
“Hey Clint, where are you going to college?” PJ asked.
“I’m going here,” Clint replied.
“I’ll look for you,” Aiden said.
“Jason works in administration and maybe can help you out, too,” PJ stated.
“That’s cool. Are there many gay dudes so I can find a boyfriend like you guys?” Clint asked.
“There are, but don’t hit on the wrong ones,” Aiden said. “There is a club you could join for gay guys.”
“I might do that,” Clint said with his arms resting on the edge of the pool. “Have any of you ever hit on a
straight guy before and gotten lucky?”
“I’ve hit on them but never got lucky,” I replied.
“I have and used to do it all the time,” Aiden replied to the question.
“Damn Aiden,” Logan said.
“You told me a straight guy has fucked you before,” Jimmy said to Logan.
“Thanks a lot there boyfriend, I appreciate that,” Logan said before Clint busted out laughing. I was right
there with him.
“Have you?” Aiden asked Clint.
“I wish. Everyone hates me,” Clint replied.
“I see six guys here that don’t. So you can stop saying that,” PJ stated.
“Okay, all the straight guys I know do,” Clint said.
“It’s a shame. Jason has a lot of straight friends,” Casey said.
“I do. Clint, not every straight guy will dislike you because you’re gay. You have to find the right ones,” I
“I guess I do,” Clint said. “I was wondering if you guys jack off, or did before you had boyfriends?”
“We’d all be liars if we said no. Every guy does,” Casey said. “I take it you do.”
“Ummm… some… when I’m looking at porn,” Clint said.
“You’re just like everyone else,” PJ said with a knock at the back gate. We all turned around with PJ hopping
out to go to the gate. I sat and wondered who our visitor was.
PJ opened the gate.
“Clint, you left your phone at home. Haley’s been trying to call you all day,” Janie said, holding up Clint’s
“Give my phone to PJ,” Clint said.
“Clint’s not any trouble is he?” she asked.
“No ma’am, he’s doing just fine,” PJ replied.
“Yeah mom, I’m doing okay. They are some really nice guys,” Clint said from the pool and got out. The look on
his mom’s face was almost funny seeing her son in a bikini. “Mom, I really need to get a pair of these.”
“Okay,” she said. “You guys have fun. Clint, don’t overstay your welcome.”
“We’ll send him home if he does,” PJ said.
Janie shut the gate with Clint taking his phone from PJ.
“Man, it was a good thing we weren’t naked like we usually are or else his mom would have got an eye full,”
Aiden stated from the pool.
“What?” Clint asked, turning his head quickly.
“PJ and Jason are nudist and are always naked back here,” Aiden said.
“I appreciate that, Aiden,” I said. “Clint, we are, but we didn’t think it was appropriate around you.”
“I am 18 you know,” Clint said.
“He is right, I hate to say,” Jimmy said.
“Maybe some other time,” PJ said.
Clint called his friend and walked around while the rest of us got out, having something to drink. Aiden, PJ
and Casey explored the finished pool house while Logan went in for some beer. They joined with PJ, bringing
out towels for all of us just before Logan appeared with some beer.
Clint finished his call and walked back over to us. “Where’s mine?” he asked, holding out his hand.
“Clint, sorry but no can do,” PJ said.
“It was worth a try,” Clint said and snapped his fingers. He took a seat after wrapping a towel around his
“Was that your girl?” Aiden asked Clint.
“Dude, I’m fucking gay just like you,” Clint replied. “So no she’s not. Just the only friend I have left.”
“The boy has a mouth,” Casey stated.
“We noticed,” Jimmy said.
“I’ll cool it, but I better not hear you guys either,” Clint said.
“Now you can say she’s not your only friend,” I said with a smile.
“I don’t guess I can,” Clint said. “My next step will be finding a boyfriend like you guys.”
“We’ll work on that,” PJ said with a smile.
We sat around talking and getting back in the pool. Once we grew hungry we ordered pizza since we had some
beer. We did our best to make Clint happy, along with seeing how we interacted with each other such as
kissing each other and holding hands.
About 8 and shortly after it had turned dark, Clint jumped out of the pool. He dried off with Aiden and Jimmy
right behind him.
“Guys, my time is up here,” Clint announced.
“You’re not hurting anything,” PJ said.
“I know, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome like my mom said. I want to thank you from the bottom of my
heart. Honestly, I didn’t want to come over here in the first place but I’m really glad I did. PJ and Jason
were awesome and let me get out a lot of built up anger. I appreciate that. I had a great time and thanks for
letting me be a small part of your… errr… little group here,” Clint said.
“You’re more than welcome any time, any day. It was a joy to meet ya,” I said and stood. I gave him a big
hug. Everyone followed my lead and hugged Clint. He was about to change before PJ told him to keep the bikini
or if he bought a new one to bring it back. He left through the side gate.
“I feel pretty good right about now,” PJ said. “We may have helped someone.”
“I hope we did help him. He did talk about how he wanted to die,” I added.
“That’s a fucking shame,” Jimmy said. “I don’t believe I ever got to that point. I was able to tell him about
my parents and how they didn’t accept me at all.”
“If you ask me, he was looking for a friend,” Casey said.
“He was for sure. We all need friends in life,” I said. “At one point I wasn’t sure we would ever be able to
help him. Finally, he said he liked art. That really helped.”
“I thought it may have hurt at one point but he snapped right out of it,” PJ said and continued to tell them
how Clint was betrayed.
Once we finished talking about Clint and our day, the others headed out. I used the opportunity for some lip
time with PJ. I decided that I’d head to my apartment but would return with Wes and any of the others that
wanted to come to show Clint more. PJ said he liked the idea but hated I was leaving.
TO BE CONTINUED…
There's another chapter in my story. I'm still uncertain how long it will go. It will continue as long as
I see some interest, which I have. I hope you are enjoying it.